Watching and Dreaming
by dellis
Summary: Complete! This is the story of Dagonet, the gentle giant. How he yearns for love and how he finally finds it. Whether or not he can keep it is yet to be determined.
1. Love Hurts!

Watching and Dreaming

As usual Dagonet was last to reach the pub after returning from their mission. He had things to do upon returning. But if the truth was told, he just didn't like standing around watching Bors get drunk and ignore Vanora.

He thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen! Not the kind of beauty he'd seen in the Roman women. Their beauty came from fancy clothes and frills; but Vanora's beauty was just, well, there. Every smile spoke of a heart full of love to share. She just always chose to share it with the wrong man, to Dagonet's reckoning.

First, she chose to offer her love to Lancelot, as had most every female at the wall. After several months of loving one minute and fighting the next, she had finally given up on that romance. Much to Lancelot's relief, Dagonet was sure; very much to Dagonet's relief. When they finally went their separate ways, Dagonet had tried to show her he knew how she should be treated. But she had been so wrapped up in her broken heart that she had failed to see his love for her.

They became fast friends and she even confided her most secret feelings to Dagonet. As painful as they were to hear, he listened anyway. At least he got to be near her even if he'd rather not have heard most of it.

That's how she came to be with Bors. Dagonet and Bors had been friends since before they had come to Britain. Coming from the same village they had worked, played and even been drafted to Rome's service together. So, naturally, when Dagonet was trying hard to talk to Vanora, Bors had joined them at the pub.

Bors had been relentless in his pursuit of Vanora and Dagonet was reluctant to admit even to Bors that he had feelings for the woman. If Bors had known, Dagonet was sure that Bors would never have pursued her at all. Just as Dagonet was certain that no matter how much he wanted her for himself, he would never do anything to let her or anyone else know while she was with Bors. Their code of friendship would not allow it.

Dagonet was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear Bors call his name. His first realization that he was not still standing alone, was the slap on his back that Bors had just administered. He looked at his friend and smiled. At least, he thought it was a smile. He had come out of his reveries so abruptly it had been a little painful.

"Dagonet, where you been?" Bors slurred. It seemed his friend had been drinking plenty in the short time he had been here before Dagonet had arrived. Then looking around, he realized they had all been drinking double time. Gawain was slouching on a chair behind the table and Gallahad was throwing knives at a small wooden post. If he leaned much further he would fall on his face. Lancelot was sitting at another table playing some game with a Roman soldier and only Tristan was standing still, not drinking, just munching on an apple. The all drank more than was good. They drank to forget. All but Tristan, who seemed to be the only one who knew drinking only postponed the reality. It didn't abolish the truth. He almost never took a drink with the others.

Jerking out of his observations he answered. "In the stables." He hadn't really been answering the question. Besides, Bors wouldn't have understood what he said. He could have said 'hanging upside down in a tree' and Bors would have still grunted. He should have just told him the truth. "I've been sitting on a pile of hay wondering what your woman was doing." He silently told Bors. Then shrugging off the anger that suddenly surfaced regarding his friend's behavior, he asked, "Why?"

"I've been waitin' on you to get her so Vanora could sing. I know how much you like her singing. You always go all glossy-eyed when she sings about home." Not noticing the guilty look on Dagonet's face, Bors staggered over to Vanora. Dagonet flinched as Bors put a possessive hand on her waist. He couldn't help but wonder how that waist would feel under a man's hand. He couldn't take his eyes off her waist and even managed to block out the sight of another man's hand there.

Dagonet shook his head to clear the images of Vanora from his eyes. The real one in front of him and the one he saw behind his closed eyes at night. He opened his eyes and found Tristan looking at him with a strange, puzzled look. He didn't think Tristan had seen anything that would reveal his secret, but he knew if given the chance Tristan would figure it out. Tristan liked solving puzzles.

"I'll just have to guard my emotions when I'm around Tristan." He thought to himself.

Bors came back to stand with Dagonet as Vanora started to sing. Despite himself, Dagonet began to daydream. She was singing about home and the words made him want to do just that... go home. Only home to him was wherever beautiful Vanora was.

Everyone was so caught up in their fantasies that no one saw their leader walk up. Lucius Artorius Castus had known these men for almost 15 years. Being their commander had made him their father figure during their important pre-adolescence years. He looked at the men that remained out of all the men he had started with. These six men were like his family and he knew them well.

He took a moment to look at each knight as he silently said their name: Lancelot, his truest friend and best companion; Dagonet, the gentle giant that was always first to follow him; Gallahad, the youngling so full of himself; Gawain, so fierce and deadly in battle and a lover off the battlefield; Bors, loud and boisterous but a man who had found peace in his children; and last but not the least of his knights, Tristan, the silent scout who couldn't share his feelings but probably had buried deeper feelings than the others were capable of.

Arthur took a moment to salute the others, the ones that had not made it their 15 years. It grieved him terribly that he had seen so many men give their lives for something they had no belief in. Saying a hasty prayer that they had finally found home, he turned to leave.

"Arthur!" shouted Jols just as Vanora's singing stopped. It took the rest of them a moment to snap back to their reality. Gallahad was first, even if he was the one most lost in his thoughts.

"Arthur, you're not completely Roman yet, come join us," he yelled in a slurred speech as he staggered toward his commander. The others swiftly caught up with him and Arthur found himself facing the men he'd come to love. He would miss them. For after tomorrow, if Rome kept its promise, these men would be free men. Free to go to the places they dreamed of. Free to build a life to see them through their final years on this earth.

He cleared his throat and his thoughts, "Knights, we leave at sunrise on our final mission. A mission for Rome, but also a mission for ourselves." He paused and looked at the group of men. "Tomorrow we ride to meet the caravan of Bishop Germanius, coming from Rome to deliver the discharge papers we've waited so long for. We are to ensure his safe passage to the wall.

When he finished the knights all cheered. Even the silent Tristan had looked up with eyes that appeared brighter than usual.

Arthur nodded to the men and turned to leave. Lancelot put a hand on his arm to stop him. "Arthur, before you go, have one final drink with us and toast to freedom."

Gallahad handed each of them a tankard and raising them above their heads they spoke in unison, "To freedom!" Sealing the salute with a long drink, they each left, heading toward their rooms to get some rest before their mission. Some of them were humming the tune Vanora had sung shortly before.

Just as the sun was casting a purple glow across the horizon, the seven men rode through the heavy wooden gate and out of the fortress at Hadrian's Wall. As they rounded the curve on the other side of the gate, each man put heel to flank and jumped forward until going at a full gallop. Even the horses seemed to sense there was a larger purpose to this mission and wanted to see if fulfilled as soon as possible.

They rode throughout most of the day with nothing slowing them down and nothing to occupy Dagonet's mind. After today he would be free, but what good was that freedom if he couldn't share it with someone to love. He had been alone more than any of the others, except for Tristan and he wasn't sure about that. He had spent the last 13 years longing for a woman he could never have. Unless his friend somehow waited until the day before he would be free to get himself killed. The thought gave Dagonet conflicting emotions. First he thought about the sadness without his friend. Then he thought about the gladness with the woman he loved.

Disgusted with his thoughts he tried to find something else to think about or something to talk about. But Bors was his riding companion today and the last thing he wanted was to try to talk about nonsense with the man that blocked his dreams. He concentrated on the one dream he had regularly, whether awake or in slumber.

Dagonet walked up to the door of his house. He knew heaven was waiting inside and hastily opened the door. "Hello, my husband." She said with her velvety voice. "Come sit and eat your dinner with your sons." Dagonet looked at the table laden with delicious food and saw it surrounded with children. He was happy to see them and wondered how he had lived before they came into his life. They all had red hair, even the males. He could see his features in some but most looked just like their mother.

_Just then his wife walked up to the table and took her seat on his right side. He had never thought her more beautiful than he did at that moment..._

The group galloped up to a small knoll overlooking the road to Hadrian's Wall. The view below brought Dagonet out of his daydream. Gawain was speaking, "As promised, the Bishop's carriage." Gallahad spoke up, "Our freedom Bors."

"I can almost taste it." Bors responded, licking his lips. Dagonet looked at Arthur. "Your ticket to Rome, Arthur." Arthur smiled at Dagonet and turned back just as an arrow came flying out of the trees lining the road and hit one of the Roman guards. It seemed even their last mission would be one of fighting. It was just as well. Dagonet was tired of his thoughts. He needed something to work the frustrations out of his system.

They were headed back toward the wall with the Bishop in tow. The battle hadn't lasted long but there were several Romans that would never see their Beloved Rome and more Woads had spilled their blood on the beloved soil they fought so hard to regain. Even while killing them in his duty, he felt sympathy for the people fighting for their freedom just as he and the other knight fought for theirs. All this killing for a being that he had never seen and would never see made no sense to him. Arthur called it his 'beloved Rome' but to Dagonet it was just an unseen master sending the slaves to do it's bidding.

While doing it's bidding, they were destroying another people the way Rome had destroyed his.

There was a difference. A difference that made Dagonet feel shame for his ancestors. The Woads never agreed to serve Rome to save their miserable lives. They would rather die than become servants to a cause they did not believe in. His ancestors had not only agreed to serve, they had promised that all of their sons would serve and their sons, sons. He lowered his head and mourned the pride his people had lost so long before he was born.

He came out of his mourning when Tristan rode up beside him and matched his horse's gait. "When we arrive back at the gate, you should go to her and tell her how you feel. She has the right to choose instead of settling for someone to be the father of her bastard son." His voice was low and Dagonet wasn't sure he had heard right. "What did you say?" Dagonet really wanted to know.

"Don't tell me you don't know. The son Bors is so proud of is the son of Lancelot." He paused and looked over at Dagonet. "Why do you think Lancelot keeps saying those things to Bors? He knows and thinks Bors should know as well." He finished his speech and looked ahead to where Bors was riding behind Lancelot and Arthur. Dagonet followed his gaze. "You shouldn't spread those tales Tristan. Vanora has a terrible temper when she gets angry." He tried to make Tristan feel guilty repeating Lancelot's teasing and making it sound like truth.

"If you don't believe me why don't you ask? To have so many children, she loved Lancelot a long time without producing an offspring." Tristan sounded so sure of himself that before Dagonet could catch his mistake he told him, "How do you know it is not mine? I did spend time with her after she left Lancelot."

Tristan looked at him and Dagonet saw in his eyes the moment he deciphered Dagonet's dilemma. Yes Dagonet loved Vanora. But he also loved Lancelot and Bors. If he had one he could not have the other. If he chose Vanora, he could not stay friends with the men she had loved before him. If he chose his friends, he could not be with the woman he loved. He would forever be watching her and dreaming of the future he could have had.

To give his story closure he told Tristan, "I would rather die than have to choose between the two things that make up my world. I would also give my life to save the life of either of them. For my friends have been my sanity these past 15 years and the woman who holds my heart could be my sanity for the next 15."

When Dagonet had finished speaking, Tristan nodded his head and let his horse fall to the back of the group. What he had just said gave Tristan a lot to think about. It was one puzzle he didn't think he would ever fully decipher.

The End


	2. Thoughts of the future

Tristan rode at the back of the group with his head slightly bowed seemingly looking at his horse's ears. He wasn't really, he was looking back to the conversation he'd just had. He couldn't help but think about what Dagonet had said. He didn't think there existed such a thing as an unsolvable puzzle and he knew the answer to this puzzle lay in Dagonet's words. He just had to dig it out.

Looking up he saw Dagonet riding a little behind Bors but not enough so that it was noticeable to his friend. Tristan began to mentally tally what he'd learned from Dag. One, he loved Vanora. Two, he loved his friend and lifelong comrade. Three, he couldn't have both. Four, he couldn't choose either. "Damn, what a mess", thought the scout. Clearing his head with a small shake, he began to look around. It was his duty after all. He'd have to decipher this dilemma another time when their lives might not be in danger.

Bors was trying to talk to Dagonet and was a little annoyed that he had to turn his head so far back. "Dag, get up here before you make me break my neck trying to talk to you." He yelled in his usual commanding tone. He was just about to turn around and repeat his order when Dag came up beside him. "Yeah, Bors, what do you want?" Bors, looked at his friend with his eyebrows knitted together. It wasn't like Dag to sound so distant. But then he had been a little different the past few days. It was probably just all the talk of freedom that had him so preoccupied.

"You still planning on staying at the Wall when we get our papers?" He asked. "You know with the Romans pulling out we'll be the closest thing to the Lord of the land that these people will ever see." He paused a moment and then continued, "Who knows, maybe you could settle down with one of those ladies I see giving you the eye."

Dagonet looked at his friend and was almost angry that he was so dense. How could he not see the love in Dag's eyes when Vanora was around? Dag thought his heart would burst and worried that someone besides Tristan would figure it out just by looking at him.

"I don't know, yeah, …probably." He stammered. He wanted to tell Bors that he wanted to get as far away from him and Vanora as he could, but deep down he knew he would never be able to. There was no way he could live and never see her beautiful face again! He looked at Bors and saw a look of concern in his eyes. He hated worrying his friend, but the last few days had been especially hard for him to hold his thoughts inside.

Dagonet felt time moving past him, seemingly faster than usual. It was like the headsman was holding an axe over his neck and unless he did something it would fall at any time, ending his life. He didn't like this feeling and how it made him react. He was usually a patient man. He had waited 15 years for freedom and he had thought if he made it alive, he could win Vanora's love in the end. Now his patience was running thin. Time was no longer his friend.

"I don't know, Bors. Sometimes I think of going back home just to see what things are like now. But even if I do, I'll be back." Bors watched him for a second, nodded his acceptance, and started rambling about other subjects. Giving a relieved sigh, Dag pretended to listen and grunted in what he hoped was all the right places.

Bors wanted to tell Dagonet that he knew of his love for Vanora. But he didn't want to do anything to ruin their friendship. So far the man hadn't done anything other than moon over her and Bors understood all too well why a man would do that. She was the most wonderful woman he had ever been around, after his own mother of course. He wanted Dagonet to be as happy as he was, but not with his woman. It was time to put a bug in some of the wench's ears again and arrange for Dag to be occupied with someone for a while. That usually worked. Who could tell, maybe one of these times something would come from it.

They reached the fort and rode in to a hero's welcome. Bors looked around and spotted his kids. That meant Vanora was close by. He glanced at Dagonet and saw him looking around the crowd. He knew exactly where Vanora was when Dagonet's eyes lit up. He followed his friend's gaze and saw her. She had a smile on her face and something that looked like relief. He felt guilty that she worried. He tried to explain that he would be all right but she would just have to accept that some day he might not be sitting his horse when they returned. That usually just made her angry. Not that he minded her anger. There were lots of ways to work anger out of your system.


	3. Final Mission

After Arthur had officially welcomed the Bishop, they headed toward the great hall. Bors couldn't wait to get this over with. There was a barrel of ale somewhere with his name written all over it and a woman who made him feel better about himself than anything or anyone else ever could.

Vanora ran up to Bors and slapped his face as hard as she could. She knew it was cruel, but she made sure Dag saw the kiss she exchanged with Bors. She thought eventually he would realize she loved another and move on. But for the past 10 years he had held steadfast with his feelings. She continued her line of thought after Bors had joined the others. She walked slowly toward the pub. They would all end up there before too long and they would be ready to drink and get rowdy as usual.

Dagonet would make some woman happy. He was kind, loyal, loving and true. But he wasn't honest. Not where affairs of the heart were concerned. Vanora had known from the beginning that he had feelings for her. She also saw that if she returned those feelings when she and Lancelot had split that she would be using him to fall back on. He deserved much more from a woman. She loved Dagonet, much the same way she loved all the knights, but she wasn't in love with him. She would never let him settle for less than he deserved. She had no doubt that if something happened to Bors, Dagonet would step in and things would go on as usual. It would be too easy to fall into the familiar and forget the heart of the only true friend she had ever had.

When she reached the pub she started dropping hints to some of the other girls that Dag was lonely. It didn't take long for them to plan how they would cheer him up. It never did. They all knew he would be the catch worth fighting for out of the whole lot of Arthur's Knights. Once again she tried to figure out why she couldn't fall for the right man. Her heart just didn't cooperate with her head. Her head always lost.

The knights started arriving one or two at a time after that and she never had time to think about Dag again and it was much later in the evening when she realized he wasn't there. He was always the last to arrive and the first to leave, at least that was the way it happened when she was working. The other girls told a different tale when she was not there. Sometimes she wondered if they were exaggerating. She had never seen him flirt like they claimed and she had known him for 15 years. The thought of him leaving with two women hanging on was just more than she could imagine!

"Where you been, Dag?" Slurred Bors. 'Not again,' thought Dag but he replied as usual, "In the stables." He didn't want to tell him he'd been sitting under a tree listening to Arthur argue with the Roman. He turned up his tankard and downed the ale in one gulp. It was going to be another long night watching him paw Vanora and knowing she enjoyed every minute of the flirting. He could see in her face that she truly loved the gruff old man. Sighing, he turned for another drink and ran into one of the other women who served drinks.

"Sorry," he apologized as he grabbed her around the waist to keep her from falling over. "No need to apologize, Dag, I'd like to run into you more often." She replied coyly. Dag looked down and found she was giving him the look she always did. 'Inviting' was the only way to describe it.

Just then Bors walked up. "If you want to run into Dag, you need to work in the stables." He laughed at the look on her face. Then he saw the look on Dag's face. He didn't understand why Dag looked angry about something. "What's wrong? You look like somebody spit in your ale." Just as Dag was trying to think of a suitable answer, he looked up and saw Arthur walk up to the edge of the group of people in the pub. Dagonet had been watching for him and dreading the reactions of his comrades. When the arguing started he decided to stop it early. "Rome has broken its word, we have the word of Arthur and that is enough." He turned to Arthur and finished, "I'll prepare." He walked away and saw that Tristan was following him. 'Good,' he thought, 'the others would soon follow suit.' "You coming?" he yelled at Bors.

"Of course I'm coming!" Bors answered. "Can't let you go by yourself, you'll get killed!" he yelled. Dagonet didn't stay to hear the rest. He was just relieved that his future would be postponed a few more days. He knew what he should do; he just couldn't see himself actually doing it. Only time would tell. If he had learned nothing else in his 30 odd years, he had learned patience. He had fifteen years worth of patience.

As always and as promised, they left just before the sun was completely over the horizon. The day promised rain before nightfall and Dagonet knew that rain made for some very unhappy men. Not that any of them were remotely happy to begin with. At times the air felt thick enough to cut with his sword. Luckily, they were riding too fast for anything to develop. Arthur wanted to get to the home of this Alecto as soon as possible so they could get back before anyone could be hurt.

Dagonet just wanted to ride as fast as possible and maybe leave his thoughts behind. So far, he hadn't had any luck, but it felt good to be out on his horse riding like the wind just the same. They came to a wooded area and Arthur decided it would be a good idea to camp for the night and work their way through the trees in the light of day. This was prime Woad territory and they didn't want to chance meeting a group of them in the darkness in unfamiliar surroundings.

As promised, the rain started with a vengeance just before darkness fell. They quickly found enough wood to start a small fire. The rain this time of year could be as cold as a mountain stream and none of them relished the idea of spending a night soaked to the skin and riding most of the next day that way. They were riding northeast and the air was quite a bit cooler than it was at the Wall. Dagonet looked up at the sky and thought it probably would be snowing at some point tomorrow afternoon. Sighing, he turned his attention back to the group sitting around the fire. Some of the usual banter was going on, not quite the _usual_ banter, but everyone was trying to forget the night before. It seemed their luck was still holding.

The group had been riding a few hours when the rain slacked off and finally began falling as large flakes of snow. They all gathered their cloaks around them and rode on. A little after the sun had reached mid sky they reached a large group of stone buildings surrounding a much larger stone building. A stone fence taller any man went all the way around the whole thing. This must be the Roman Estate Arthur had mentioned. That meant they had finally reached their destination and could soon be heading back home.


	4. The Roman Estate

Arthur had announced who they were and why they had come so far north. The man in charge was arguing with Arthur and Lancelot about leaving the lands "given by the Pope himself". Arthur got off his horse and quietly exchanged a few words with him and they were being led into the estate for a bite to eat. Like the rest, Dag hadn't had anything to eat since they left their camp at daybreak, but to be honest he'd rather just gather up the boy they were sent to get and head back home.

The lady of the estate quickly arranged for them to be fed and Dag found himself watching her. She seemed different than the other women he'd been around. She didn't look that different, but she seemed to be afraid to speak to anyone without permission. She kept her head slightly bowed and only once or twice did Dag see her look up at someone when they spoke to her. She reminded him of some of the dogs that hung around the wall. They would run up to people to get a small scrap of meat but they seemed to expect the kicks they received as often as they received food. She seemed to be waiting for the kick she knew was coming sooner or later.

It angered Dag to think that any woman was mistreated so. This was just another reason for Dag to want to be as far from the Romans as possible. Even if he and the others were considered to be pagans, they knew how to treat their women. Women were to be taken care of and protected from harm. How could a man harm his wife or allow anyone else to? Such an act was incomprehensible to the fierce-looking knight.

After they had eaten they began to rally the people and make them understand the danger they were facing in the Saxons. Even the men of the village that surrounded the estate seemed afraid to speak up when spoken to. Dag could tell that Arthur was growing impatient with the people. After much prodding and pushing, they were finally almost ready to leave, but Arthur kept looking at the two guards that were watching two men lay stones with mortar at the entrance to a small hut outside the wall. Dag watched as Arthur dismounted and pulled his sword from the scabbard on his saddle. He started toward the two guards and they turned to block his way.

They exchanged words and Arthur turned to Dag. Dag dismounted and took his huge axe and strode over to the newly laid rock wall. With a few swings he had knocked down all their work, but behind the wall was a wooden door that was locked from the inside. He glanced at Arthur and received the order he was waiting for. With a couple of kicks he knocked the door loose and Arthur started to enter followed closely by Dagonet, Lancelot and Gawain. The other knights blocked the entrance from intruders and they walked down into the cellar-like building with the knowledge that no one would come in behind them unless they wanted it.

The narrow passage down into the cellar was lined with contraptions that had only one purpose… to inflict pain. The stale air smelled worse than a battlefield days after the battle was over. Whatever else they would find, Dag knew there was bodies decaying. The passage opened into a small room occupied by a couple of men dressed in long woolen robes. They didn't appear to have bathed since their mother's had stopped bathing them and their smell only reinforced his thoughts.

On each side of the small room, Dag saw cages. At first he thought they were keeping animals and he looked to see what kind of animals could possibly need to be so mistreated. He was brought out of his thoughts by the tone of Lancelot's words. He had missed what was said because he was so shocked at the sight of human beings in various states of decay. They were all chained to the wall and appeared to have died from starvation among the very noticeable wounds that had been inflicted on them.

"See if any are still alive", Arthur commanded. Dag rushed over and opened a small metal cylinder. The smell of death almost made him choke. "This one is dead", he told Arthur. "By the smell, they are all dead", was the only words spoken by Gawain. Dag agreed with the comment, but he would continue to do as Arthur commanded. Moving quickly, he went to another of the cylinders and opened it. "Arthur", his tone was one of surprise, as he reached inside and quickly lifted a small boy out.

The boy winced and shied away from Dag. "You must not fear me", Dag commanded in what he hoped was a tone of reassurance. The boy shyly lifted his eyes and looked at Dag and the big man saw the look of relief in the boy's eyes. Dag quickly ran his hands over the boy to check for injuries. Other than being covered in dirt and a little thin for his size, he seemed to be in fairly good condition considering the people in the cells around him. The only obvious injury was a broken arm, but Dag was certain with care it would heal cleanly.

Arthur and Lancelot were opening the metal doors to the other cages. Everyone was beginning to think the boy was the only one left alive when Arthur found another person alive but in pretty bad condition. Out of all the cells under the ground the knights had only found the two people still alive. Just what they had uncovered was beyond Dag's reckoning as they made for the entrance and some fresh air. They put the two on the ground and Arthur called for water.

The Bishop's little "gopher" ran up quickly with a skein of water and Dag noticed that Marius' wife ran over to the woman with Arthur. She knelt beside her and laid her hand on the other woman's arm. Dag was surprised by the injured woman's response. She quickly laid her head on the lady's hand and closed her eyes. He didn't know how or why, but he did know they had met and had some kind of interaction before then. There was a familiarity between them that spoke of many meetings before. The boy groaned and that took Dag's attention away from the lady and then shouts from Marius quickly brought it back

Dag was watching the exchange between the Roman and Arthur when Marius slapped his wife. Just as he was about to get up and take care of the man himself, Arthur punched Marius, knocking him to the ground. Dag relaxed back into his kneeling position with the boy as Arthur was pulling Marius up with his sword to his throat. After all they had seen at this estate, Dag would not have been surprised to see Arthur kill the man.

After a few tense moments, they were finally on the road back home. Dag was riding in a wagon with the boy, the injured woman and Marius' wife whose name was Fulcinia. Dag noticed she wasn't a beautiful woman, but she was kind and she had pretty eyes. They had a little bit of a sad quality, like she had seen too much suffering. Dag thought on this for a moment, then turning to her, he said, "You are not responsible for the things done by your husband."

Fulcinia stopped what she was doing and looked at Dagonet. "I could have done more to stop him. I let my fear keep me from releasing the people he killed, therefore I am as guilty as he and it will take more than a little nursing to atone for my sins." She then turned and continued wiping the boys forehead with a cool, wet cloth. Dagonet searched for something to say that would lessen her guilt, but deep down he knew she was right. By not doing anything to stop the atrocities, she might as well have done them herself; but looking at her when she didn't know he was looking, he felt sorry for her. He could tell she had been abused herself, and only her fear of being treated like one of his prisoners would have kept her from stopping his insanity. At least she had done enough to keep the boy and other woman alive.

Just then the other woman moaned and Fulcinia quickly moved to help her. Dag watched as the injured woman put her hand up to Fulcinia's face. She spoke quietly and with the movement of the wagon it was hard to hear her words, but he heard enough to know that the woman was trying to reassure her of her innocence in the doings of her husband. Dag understood her reasoning and he agreed with her. Sometimes you just can't do something without having someone at you back and he was sure Fulcinia would have been alone in anything she tried to do. He decided he would try to make her understand. She didn't deserve to feel the shame or guilt she now felt.


	5. Dangerous Sleep

The occupants of the wagon were given a chance to get out of the wagon when they stopped for the night in a line of trees a fee yards off the trail. Dag spent a portion of his time preparing a place for Lucan to sleep. He still had a fever from his injury which indicated he might have an infection, so Dag didn't want to be too far from him in case he needed something. But Dag felt the cool night air might be good for him.

As he was covering Lucan with his cloak he heard fierce whispering coming from across the camp. He looked over and found Marius whispering animatedly with his mercenary guards. The whole thing smelled of trouble but Dag wasn't much concerned considering Arthur and the others were keeping a close eye on everyone in the group. He lay down close to Lucan so he could get a little sleep before the sun came up. He knew Arthur would want to be on the road again before the sun was completely over the horizon.

Dag awoke to men grabbing him and to the shouts of Marius and Lucan. Marius was shouting for the men to take him and Lucan's voice was one of sheer terror. Dag fought back with all his might. Whatever they were trying to do, Dag wanted to make sure that Lucan was not hurt. Things got worse when Marius grabbed Lucan and held a knife to his throat. Dag had pulled his knives from his boot sheaths but he couldn't use them as long as Marius threatened Lucan. If he had to die to save Lucan, then that was his destiny, but he didn't think his death would save the boy. For some reason Marius was determined to kill Lucan no matter what. Dag saw that in his eyes.

Just when Dag was sure he was going to die, Fulcinia climbed out of the wagon and ran over to Marius. She grabbed his arm and tried to get Lucan from him. He easily pushed her off his arm and she fell to the ground. Dag was surprised when an arrow came flying past him seemingly out of nowhere. The arrow hit Marius directly where his heart should be and Dag looked to find the woman, Guinnevere, holding a bow with another arrow nocked and ready. Lucan ran to Dag and grabbed him around the leg. Dag told him to get down and grabbed his sword, ready to defend the boy if need be.

At that moment Arthur and Lancelot walked up taking a stand on each side of Guinnevere. "You can help or you can die", Arthur told the guards. While they were weighing their options, Gawain, Gallahad and Bors came riding up ready to do as Arthur commanded. The guards threw down their swords and Jols quickly picked them up. After Dag made sure that Lucan was all right, he went over to where Fulcinia and Alecto were kneeling with Marius. Fulcinia was crying and rather than seeing to his father, Electo was comforting his mother. He placed his hand on Fulcinia's shoulder and she raised her head to look up at him.

"I'm sorry for what has happened." Dag simply said. She looked at him a moment before nodding her head in acknowledgement of his statement. Alecto watched the exchange with a puzzled look. He then turned his attention back to his mother. Dag walked over to where Arthur was talking to Tristan.

"They are almost on us. We must leave now." Tristan was saying. Dag didn't wait to hear anymore. He returned to Lucan and began to gather their small part of the camp. He arranged Lucan back in the wagon with Fulcinia. Since he seemed to be so much better, Dag decided to ride with the other knights. He needed to spend some time away from the boy and Marius' family. He needed to think.

Since they had arrived at the estate of the Roman family, Dag had found himself looking at Marius' wife and trying to decipher what made her who she was. He could tell she had been abused. He knew Marius was a sadistic man. He knew Fulcinia loved her son, Electo. He thought she loved her husband. But why then, didn't she seem more upset about his death? She had cried for a short time. But not like he had seen other women cry for a dead husband. She was the first woman who had intrigued him this much since Vanora. But it wasn't the same. He wasn't interested in "being" with her. He just wanted to get to know her. Now he just had to figure out why.


	6. Ice and Saxons

The pace of the caravan had picked up since Tristan had announced the closeness of the Saxons. The peasants had been living a hard life under Marius' rule, but they seemed to understand that their very lives depended on getting to the wall as soon as possible. Dagonet and the other Knights took formation around the caravan in case they encountered any trouble with he, Lancelot and Arthur taking turns riding beside the wagon with Guinnevere, Lucan, Fulcinia and Alecto inside.

Lucan had warmed up to Dag quite easily, especially since Dag had protected him so fiercely. Each time Dag rode near the wagon the boy would get as close to the openings between the branches that made up the sides of the wagon as he could. When Dag smiled at him his face lit up and he seemed like a normal child instead of one that had watched his mother slowly starve to death. How anyone could treat a small boy so cruelly in the name of some god was beyond the comprehension of a man like Dagonet. A man that believed you only treated someone badly when they did something to deserve it, and then you only kill them, not torture them to death. Marius was a man from a "civilized" society. But as a man he was a total mystery to Dag.

This line of thought brought him back to Fulcinia. How could a woman with such a kind heart love a sadistic man like Marius? He only thought on this for a short time before he decided to just come right out and ask her. He could think on this for the rest of his life and never uncover the truth.

Dag rode up to where Arthur and Tristan were talking. The other knights rode up one by one to hear what was in front of them. Tristan was telling Arthur that they had to cross a frozen lake. "No, we have to cross the ice." Tristan was finishing. Arthur turned back to Jols and said, "Get them out of the carriages. Tell them all to spread out." Jols took off as fast as he could on the snow covered trail and the knights dismounted preparing to walk out onto the ice.

One by one the men gingerly stepped out onto the frozen water. Dagonet took a couple of short steps and felt the ice groan under his feet. He looked around at the others and took another step. The ice seemed to be thick enough to hold their weight, at least for the time being, he wasn't so sure how it would be further out, but he would follow Arthur until Arthur decided they shouldn't go any further.

When they had only reached about half way, they heard the Saxon drums. Everyone stopped for a moment, then took another step forward. Arthur then turned his horse around and faced the rest of the knights. "Knights?" was all he said. The others one by one gave their answer and they prepared to make a stand against an army of Saxons. None of them had good feelings about the outcome, but they would fight.

When the Saxons rounded the curve and stepped onto the ice they found a line of seven men and one woman standing ready with arrows nocked. If it had been any other group of eight it would have been laughable. But Dagonet knew the Saxons had heard all the legends of Arthur and his Sarmatian knights. The tales spoke of knights that had never lost a battle, almost to the point of being magical. The knights were not surprised to see the Saxon leader stop and take a few moments to size up the situation. For no other reason that to surmise how these eight people could possibly stop the grand Saxon army.

One Saxon came to the front of the line and fired a single arrow at Arthur and the others. The arrow came up a few feet short and slid uselessly across the ice. Arthur ordered Tristan and Bors to fire an answering shot at he enemy as an invitation. Tristan shot four and Bors shot one, each arrow hitting its mark and felling five of the Saxons. This taunt brought the desired effect and the Saxons advanced toward the knights. As the army advanced the knights and Guinnevere released arrow after arrow toward the outside edges, hoping to make them cluster toward the center. If Arthur's plan worked, the ice would start to crack and the army would retreat. Even better, the ice would break dropping the Saxons into a cold, watery grave.

Long before they reached the crucial spot where their archers would be within range with their armor piercing arrows, Dagonet realized the ice would not break in time. As soon as Arthur gave the command to back up and prepare for combat he grabbed his axe and ran toward the advancing army. When he was out of range of the knights, he started hacking at the frozen lake with all his might. The ice was much thicker than they had at first thought because his first couple of swings barely chipped at the ice. He mustered a little more leverage and swung a third time. This time he saw the cracks begin to run back toward the Saxons. They began to yell to each other and he swung again with even more force. The ice began to break into huge slabs and the weight of the men standing on them caused them to tilt, dropping men into the icy water.

The leader of the Saxons was now physically pushing his archers to the front so they could shoot at Dagonet. One finally got lucky and an arrow hit Dag in his left shoulder. The pain almost made him drop his axe, but he gritted his teeth and swung one final blow. The ice broke up even more, but this time the cracks were running back toward his friends. When another arrow hit him in the side, he fell to his knees and forward into a hole in the ice. He went under and began fighting his way back to the top. He felt someone grab his shoulders and pull him out onto the ice. He was being dragged toward the knights but he was so cold. He felt another pair of hands grab him and they were moving swifter now but the arrows were flying past them one after the other. The last thing Dag remembered before he passed out was Bors telling him to "hang in there".


	7. Nursemaid

The knights put Dagonet across his horse. His injuries weren't mortal in themselves, but the color of his skin spoke of skin freezing and they knew they had to get him back to the caravan so they could get him warmed up. They rode as fast as possible without causing more damage and soon caught up with the group of wagons and peasants walking beside them. Ganis stopped the caravan and the knights got Dagonet into the wagon with Fulcinia and Lucan. Lucan thought he was dead and began to weep, but Guinnevere explained the situation and he settled down to help any way he could.

Arthur and Bors stayed in the cramped wagon and got Dag out of his soaked clothes. They wrapped him in as many furs and blankets as they could find while Gawain and Lancelot went to get water on to boil. They all knew unless they got his temperature up quickly he could die, but they also had to care for his wounds before his temperature was raised too much or he could bleed to death. The cold was slowing the flow of blood coming from the holes made by the arrows. It would also stop the infection from growing and from the looks of the Saxon army they weren't very clean with any of the their equipment. But when you were trying to defeat everyone you came across you weren't too concerned with how they died.

Fulcinia and Guinnevere had left the wagon while the men were undressing the wounded knight. As soon as he was decently covered once more, they came back in and began working on the wounds. The one in his shoulder didn't seem too bad, all they had to do was clean and bandage it. Guinnevere knew something of herb healing and went in search of some of the plants that would help with the healing and the pain. While she was gone Fulcinia looked at the wound in Dag's side. It didn't appear to be in a spot that would cause permanent damage as long as they kept it clean and bandaged until it healed. Lancelot brought a pail of hot water and Fulcinia ripped some of her petticoat to make bandages once the wound was clean.

Guinnevere came back into the wagon complaining that she couldn't find all of the herbs she needed. "We're too far north, but these will do until we get closer to the wall." She spoke to no one in particular as she began crushing the leaves between her thumb and fingers and dropping them into the hot water. As she did this, Fulcinia uncovered the wound in Dag's side and began washing it with rags dipped into the mixture. Dag moaned once or twice which was a good sign, but each time it caused Fulcinia to flinch. She hated hurting the gentle man who had befriended her and the young boy, but she also knew it would be necessary for a short time.

Once the wound was clean, she took a small needle from her bag and expertly tied some of her sewing thread to it. The wound wasn't too wide and it would only take one or two stitches to close it up. After she had finished she wet a piece of her petticoat and applied it, Guinnevere had assured her it would help keep infection from setting up. Then Bors helped her roll Dag from side to side so she could wrap longer pieces around to hold everything in place. As easy as they tried to move the gentle giant, he still moaned and even reached up to fight at them once. Arthur kneeled down and held his hands while they finished.

The shoulder wound was much easier to dress and was soon finished. Arthur told everyone to leave and let Dag get some much-needed rest and they all left except Fulcinia and Bors, who flat refused to move. Fulcinia was glad for the company though, especially if Dag started to move around. There was no way she could envision herself keeping him still. She felt of his forehead again and found that his temperature had begun to go back up. He just felt a little cool now instead of cold as a man dead for hours. She had been worried that they would not be able to help him, but she realized he wanted to live as much as they wanted him to.

She and Bors kept up their vigilance throughout the rest of the evening and night. From time to time different members of the group of knights came into the wagon and offered to relieve them for a while. Bors never even looked up to turn down the offers and Fulcinia only accepted once. Guinnevere came in and told her to go sit by the fire and get a bite to eat and although she would rather have stayed, she felt she did need to check up on Alecto. He had taken the death of his father better than she had hoped, but he still felt that most of the problems they had encountered were somehow his fault because he had not stood up to his father and stopped the cruelty. Both Guinnevere and Arthur had reassured him but she knew her son, he had only played lip service to their efforts.

When she came back to the wagon she found Bors had drifted off into an uneasy sleep. She settled down to watch his friend so he could rest. After what seemed like hours he woke up with a start, cursing that he had fallen asleep. "You must have needed the rest, but your neck is probably hurting." She tried to reassure him. "Yeah, it does feel like I broke it." He replied sheepishly. "Has there been any change in Dag?" he asked. She looked into the face of the sleeping man and felt of his forehead before she replied. "His temperature seems to be normal now. He hasn't been awake yet, but I'm sure he will soon. The cold makes him sleepy and now that he is warm again be will be more likely to awake."

As if on cue, Dag indeed opened his eyes. At first he looked lost. Then the memory of what happened shone from his eyes and he looked around to find Fulcinia looking directly at his face. She saw him open his mouth to speak and realized his mouth was dry. She took a small skin of water and held it to his lips letting just enough water into his mouth to moisten the inside. Then she let him take a little more and he saw Bors move over into his line of vision. He looked at Bors and Fulcinia found she was feeling gladness and sadness all at the same time. Glad that he had looked away because he had held her gaze from the moment he had first looked at her and sad that he was no longer looking at her. She had not had these conflicting emotions for a long time. Her husband had only inspired the emotion of fear for the last 16 years. Fear she had down to a fine art.

When she came out of her own thoughts she found that Dag was again looking at her. She felt her face begin to grown warm with the blush that was creeping down her neck. She tried to give him a weak smile but his face never changed and she wasn't sure if she had managed a smile at all. She quickly began tending to his wounds to give her something else to do and saw him close his eyes once more. Until she felt the breath slowly leave her mouth she hadn't realized she had been holding her breath. "What in the name of God is wrong with me?" she thought to herself, "I'm acting like a young maiden who's never been around men before." She shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts and turned to Bors, "I'll go tell Arthur he's awake", as she moved to get up from Dag's side.

What happened next almost caused her to lose her dinner. Dag reached out and put his hand on her arm, "Let Bors" was all he said before he removed his hand. She sat back down with a thud and Bors moved to leave the wagon. After he had gone, she wiped Dag's face with a wet cloth and he opened his eyes again. "Thank you for what you've done." He spoke in a whisper. "There is no need to thank me, Guinnevere found the herbs. All I did was sit with you while you slept." She knew that sounded like a stupid answer but it was all she could think of to say. He held her gaze for a few more moments and smiled at her.

She had seen the man smile at Lucan. She knew he was not always as serious as he appeared to be at first meeting. But when that smile was directed at you it seemed the sun had suddenly come from behind a very dark cloud to shed light on your face. A light so warm and beautiful you never wanted it to leave your skin again. She caught herself before she closed her eyes as if to bask in these beautiful rays and giving a small cough she busied herself fussing over his bandages. Just then Arthur and Bors returned to the wagon taking Dag's attention from her. Once again she found herself with conflicting emotions. She made an excuse about checking on Alecto and left the wagon.


	8. The Return

The caravan had left before sunrise the next morning and didn't stop at all that day. The people either didn't eat or they ate some cold hard-bread as they walked or rode down the road to the wall. When the wall came into view they seemed to gather energy from the stones that made it stand so grand and tall. The pace quickened and everyone knew they would be safe once inside the huge gates. When the gates closed behind them, the knights led the wagon carrying Dag, Fulcinia and Bors into the stable yard outside the knight's quarters. Alecto had been riding on the seat with the driver most of the day and he jumped to the ground as soon as the wagon stopped.

Bishop Germanius ran over and tried to embrace Alecto but the young man kept backing up just out of his reach. When he realized everyone was watching, he turned around to face Arthur and the other knights. The look he met was enough to fluster the man used to being in control of every situation. "Come, come Arthur. Your discharge papers giving you free reign throughout the Roman Empire." He motioned to his guards who stepped forward and opened the box with the papers inside. Only Arthur advanced, but he didn't stop to even look at the papers. He stopped close enough that the Bishop could feel his breath on his face. "Bishop Germanius, friend of my father." Was all he said before he turned and walked away. As he walked away Lancelot walked over to the guard and took all of the papers and began to pass them out to the other knights. He gave Bors the papers that belonged to Dagonet but Bors wasn't in the mood.

"This doesn't make him a free man," he snarled. "He's already free, he's always been free." With that he threw the papers at the feet of the Bishop and stalked off to the back of the wagon to help unload Dag. Tristan and Gawain walked toward the Bishop and he backed away with terror in his eyes. They picked up Bors and Dag's papers and followed the others to the wagon. When Dag had been unloaded and carried toward his quarters, the others headed for the pub to celebrate their freedom.

Fulcinia followed the men carrying Dag into his quarters. She knew he was still not well, but he no longer needed a full-time nursemaid. She just wanted to see how he lived. She was sure his quarters would be tidy yet simply furnished without all the extra trappings that some men would require. It was no surprise when she entered his bedchamber to find only a single bed, a little larger than most, with a table next to it. The table held a bowl and pitcher to be used to wash his face upon rising in the morning. In one corner was a straight chair with a pair of trousers and woolen shirt draped across the back. The only other item to be seen was a huge axe resting on two pegs in the unadorned wall. Everything was clean without any dust to be seen even though he had not been in the room in several days.

Some would have thought he had someone clean it regularly when he was away. But Fulcinia doubted that was so. He was indeed a simple man, with simple needs. But there was nothing simple about the compassion she had seen in his every move or look toward Lucan and even herself. He was a man any woman could feel safe and secure with. A man who would never cause a woman pain out of a need to feel stronger or superior than she. A man she had thought her husband until after their wedding when his true nature had surfaced even on their wedding night.

Fulcinia remembered how upset and scared she was that night when he had proceeded to beat her even before he had tried to make love to her. He had told her he needed to set the rules so there would be no mistakes made out of ignorance. If she hadn't been more afraid of the punishment promised by God for women who forsake their husbands, she would surely have fled that night when he had finally passed out. But the church had taught her that there was no forgiveness for divorce and she believed it with all her heart. She was also sure she would suffer for the feeling of relief instead of sadness over his death. When she returned to Rome, she would have to confess that sin and do penance, for any deed thought was surely a deed done in the eyes of God.

When the sigh escaped her lips she quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard. No one was looking at her so she thought she was safe from scrutiny this time. Bors was telling Dag that he was going to find Vanora and his children and she realized that everyone else had already left the room. She walked over to the bed, touched his forehead, and looked at his bandages all the while preparing a speech about how thankful he had saved all their lives and how sorry she was for his injuries. When she finally got the courage to speak, she looked into his eyes and found him staring at her with a questioning gaze. She wrinkled her brow as if to ask what he wanted and he took her hand in his.

"I have watched you as we journeyed to the wall. You did not deserve the man you called your husband." He took a moment to gage her reaction and finally continued. "Your kindness and compassion to the people imprisoned speaks of your character and I just want you to know I admire you for what you have endured." When she opened her mouth to protest his words, he held up his hand, "no, let me finish." He hesitated a moment and then continued in a softer voice, "I do not pretend to know everything about your life as Marius' wife, but I have seen the bruises and I know you suffered for your kindnesses to the peasants he enslaved." He paused and when she didn't try to stop him, he finished with a simple statement. "You, too, are free now. If it were in my power I would grant you the happiness you deserve." When he had finished he drew her hand to his lips and gently kissed the top. With that, he closed his eyes and fell into a quiet and dreamless sleep.

Fulcinia sat on the side of Dag's bed for a few moments letting his words take away all the shame and guilt she had been feeling only moments before he spoke. Then she leaned over and gently kissed his forehead before she stood up and walked silently from the room. This man was beyond the reach of the evil that was slowly overtaking the world around them. She crossed herself and said a silent prayer that whatever happened in his life he would find the peace and love he so richly deserved.


	9. Affairs of the heart

When Dag awoke hours later, the room was dark. He gently moved on his bed and felt the need to eat gnawing at his insides. Since no one was around he thought he'd try to get up and go find something on his own. He moved his shoulder a little and felt the pain burning deep inside. It hurt but he had felt paid much worse before. He rose a little off his bed and felt a stabbing pain in his left side. He quickly released the tension on his muscles and the pain subsided some. Taking a couple of deep breaths he sat up and almost shouted at the amount of pain he felt. Sweat popped out on his face but he was determined to get up without help from anyone else. He swung one leg over the side and taking another deep breath he swung the other leg over. "This is going to be harder than I thought." He said aloud to the empty room.

He jumped when she spoke. "Then you should ask for help." He had not known anyone was in the room. He heard movement and the lamp beside his bed flickered to life casting a small glow around the room. Fulcinia was standing beside the table looking very much like a ghost in the pale green gown she was now wearing. "I wasn't aware that anyone was here to ask. But since you are, it would be greatly appreciated." She moved to support some of his weight as he stood up but remained in a stooped position. "Would you rather I brought you something to eat or drink or do you need to attend to a personal matter?" She was trying to be delicate but he understood she was referring to the fact that he had not relieved himself for several hours.

He took her hand and although it was much smaller than his he could feel the strength as she clasped his. "No, I just wanted something to eat. My stomach feels as if my throat has been cut." He tried to laugh at his own stupid joke but he found he was holding his breath trying to abate the pain he was feeling. "If you feel me falling, don't try to catch me. I'm afraid we'd both be abed otherwise." She smiled at his reference to the difference in their size and he noticed how pretty her face was without the shadows of fear clouding it. Wanting to keep the contact of holding her hand, but not wanting to hurt her with his weight, he said, "Maybe you'd better just bring me something for now. I'll try to get up a little tomorrow when Bors or somebody comes by. They'll be better equipped to carry me if I keel over." She nodded after a moment and moved to withdraw her hand. He held it a little tighter at first then reluctantly let go. She nodded again and turned to leave. He wasn't sure if the nod meant he was right or if she had caught his reluctance to let her go. Either way, she was not reluctant to come back, he could see it in the way she hurried from the room. She would hurry back. He was sure of it.

Then a thought hit him like a stone. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he had returned to the wall from a mission and not thought of Vanora a single time until now. He pondered on this revelation until he heard the door start to open. He looked up to see the woman he'd been thinking about walk through the door. Any other time he would have been pleasantly surprised by her visit, but now he just wanted her to leave before Fulcinia returned and thought she was intruding on them. "Hello, Vanora." He stated simply. She smiled a sad little smile and walked over to his bed. "Dag, when Bors told me what had happened I wanted to see for myself that you were going to be all right. But he said you needed rest more than visitors. I waited until I thought you had rested enough."

He watched her and realized that thoughts of his undying love for her weren't foremost in his mind. He still loved her, but not like he had once thought. He loved her as a friend and mate to his best friend. He would always be there if she should need his help, but he no longer wanted to think of her as he had in the past. How this could be he wasn't sure. It just was. Amidst his thoughts he tried to thank her for her concern, but when she had gone, he wasn't sure exactly what he had said. He hoped he hadn't said anything to make her doubt the truth to his words. He did feel thankful for the concern of his friends. He felt even more thankful that his years of unrequited love were past. For the first time he felt truly free. Free to really love. He was not surprised to find his thoughts going back to Fulcinia.

Was it truly possible to begin to love someone in so short a time? Or, was it more probable that these were feelings conjured up in a troubled sleep brought on by the pain of his wounds? Either way, since she was neither still married nor involved with any other man, he thought she might share some of his feelings. He had watched through hooded eyes while she nursed his wounds. But his experience with women wasn't exactly foolproof. Maybe she just felt sorry for him. This thought did not bring him joy or peace. But he was determined to find out exactly what the Roman woman felt. He lay in bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for the answer she would give when he asked. If nothing else was certain, that she would not lie to him was.

He was still lying in the same position when she let herself back in a little later. She opened the door and carried in a tray covered with white cloth. She stood for a moment looking at the man lying so still. At first she thought he was asleep but he turned his head and she saw that he had been awake. There were no signs of drowsiness in his gaze. What she saw there startled her. But she had been so mistreated for such a long time that she thought she might have imagined the look. When she looked back he was just looking at the tray she was carrying. She mustered her brightest smile and walked toward the bed.

"The cooks prepared their best for you. It seems you have quite a following amongst the ladies of this fort." She hoped she had managed to portray the light-hearted mood she aimed for, but the half-smile she received in return made her wonder. He had a knowing look about him and it suddenly angered her that she was so transparent. If only he wasn't the first man in her many years of marriage to show kindness, maybe she wouldn't be so quick to let her buried emotions come forth. That's all it was, it had to be all it was. There was no way she could be this unlucky, so as to fall for someone she could not possibly have a hope of a chance with. Could God be so unkind to one of his children? Surely she had suffered enough that she now deserved the happiness she had so longed for.

Dag watched as the emotions passed over Fulcinia's face. First, surprise; with a series of smaller emotions leading finally to anger. The anger surprised him somewhat. What had he done to deserve her anger? All he had meant to do was let her see his feelings for her in his face. He had been too long unable to let his feelings be known. He wasn't young enough to wait any longer. Did she think he was just another knight looking to dally with any female who would let him? He'd have to prove to her he was different than men like Lancelot and even Marius who had dallied quite a bit if Guinnevere and the other peasant women could be believed. She had to see that more than anything he wanted, no, _needed_ a woman who would let him look after her. He wanted someone who would be loyal and true and she had proven if nothing else, she was that.

When Fulcinia made to set the tray across Dag's lap, he took it and set it on the foot of the bed. He took her by the arm and pulled her down to sit beside him on the bed. She made to protest and he laid his fingers gently across her lips. "No, let me speak, dear Fulcinia." With his words, she no longer tried to speak. "I know it has only been a few days since we met, and that I am probably being too forward now." He hesitated for a moment so he could gage her reaction to his words. "But we are no longer children and I fear my time is too short on this earth to play the games of lovers." When she did not move to stop him, his words grew brave. "Do you think this is something you could do? Care for me, I mean?"

Dagonet never took his eyes from hers while he waited for an answer. She finally looked down at her hands, folded in her lap. When she looked back up at him, he saw she had tears glistening in her eyes. He willed himself not to take her in his arms the way he wanted to do. Instead, he just sat there waiting for whatever she might say. "Dagonet, my dear, brave knight. I thought it was just fantasies of an old woman. Dreams that could try to make the reality of my life easier to stand. I never thought you might be feeling some of the same things I do." She gave him a sad, half-smile and reached over to put her hand on his. "If things were different. If times were different." Again she stopped and he wanted to urge her on. But afraid he might say the wrong thing he kept silent and waited for her to continue.

"The only answer I can give is a simple 'yes'. I could love you. But you must know, as I do, that what we could do is often not what we _should_ do. My son needs me and he must continue his journey to Rome. Rome, as beautiful as it is, is not the place for a man such as you. The city would slowly eat you alive, and the politics of the Roman Empire have robbed you of too much of your life for me to ever expect more." When she had finished speaking, he saw a single tear trickle down her cheek. He reached over and gently wiped away the path it had left. Then he leaned closer and quietly whispered, "You know I would try." Taking her hand, he turned it over in his and gently kissed her palm. She let him kiss her hand for a moment, then, pulling it from his grasp, she stood up and reached for the tray. "You should eat before it gets too much colder. You will need your strength for your journey home." The last was said with a measure of sadness. When she had uncovered his food and made sure he had everything he needed, she sat back down, this time at the foot of the bed to keep him company while he ate.

Dag found that after he had taken a couple of bites that his appetite had returned in full force. He tried to eat with a little decorum so as not to disgust the lady watching him. But it was hard not to just stuff the food in and satisfy his hunger. Besides, she seemed to be enjoying watching him eat. There didn't seem to be anything to talk about and he wasn't sure he could talk with so much food crammed into his mouth. Once he looked up at her and tried to smile. She wasn't looking at him, though, just at the woolen blanket covering the bed. He would have liked to know what she was thinking so hard about, but the silence was peaceful and in it he could imagine her answer had been a little different. A little more encouraging.

He hadn't really thought about what a union between them would entail. He had just assumed she would stay with him or go north to his homeland. He hadn't considered he might have to follow her. She was right, he would never be happy in Rome. He hated Romans, all except Arthur, Fulcinia and possibly Alecto. Why they were different he didn't know. They just were. Maybe there were others like them. But from the conversations he had overheard, they would probably be few and far between. Or dead like Arthur's Pelagius. Rome had no time for men who taught ideals different from the ones they embraced. He would surely die there, either by someone's hand or slowly and agonizingly.

When he had finished Fulcinia gathered his tray and empty dishes and bowing slightly she left the room. Dag sat there silently cursing the gods for offering him another chance at love. He decided that it was just not meant to be. He was one of the unlucky people who were meant to experience love from the sidelines always wanting what he could not have. It didn't seem fair after all the men he had seen who had women begging them to love them and all they wanted was a little fun whenever it suited them. Maybe that was his problem. Maybe he should not project the image that he was so desperate to love someone. No, that was not the real Dagonet and he refused to change no matter how long he was alone.


	10. Secrets Revealed Already Known

Alecto sat with Arthur in the great hall that contained the round table Horton had told him about. He found it truly grand even if they were sitting a little away from the table. It seemed the table was for more important guests or more important matters. Arthur was explaining how the other knights had come to Britain from the home in Sarmatia and why they were so eager to return. He felt shame that his country had caused so much pain and unhappiness for generations. He was proud for the men who had fulfilled the oaths of their forefathers, men who could have garnered their forces against the Romans as easily as they fought for them. These were courageous men of great valor and he would be sure to tell Rome their story. Maybe then they could put a stop to the insanity that had taken hold of the Empire. He just hoped the Empire could hold together long enough for him to make a difference. More likely, he would suffer the same fate as Pelagius. Either way, he would do what was right. He owed that much to the men who risked their lives for his.

Jols came to the hall and told Alecto that his mother was looking for him. He said his goodbyes to Arthur and went with Jols to the dining hall where his mother was waiting. He sat down where his mother had a plate waiting. He really wasn't hungry, he ate hard bread and cheese with Arthur only a short time before, but he knew his mother. If he didn't eat, she would fuss over him until he did. Sometimes you have to pick your battles. As he was eating he was thinking of the things he would tell the Pope. He would not trust anyone else to do it for him. Especially not Germanius. He had never trusted the man and he trusted him less now. The Pope did not think the same way the other Roman leaders did. He just was not always at the forefront of all that went on in his world. He spent most of his time studying and trying to interpret the writings he was always reading. Because he was so detached from the actual goings on of the city, he sometimes didn't see the signs the others tried to hide from him.

His advisors only told him what the political leaders wished him to know. If he had the whole truth he would make the necessary changes. Alecto was sure of it. Just as he was sure that there would be men who tried to stop him if they had any idea what he would be telling. That was why he and Arthur had held secret counsel. Bishop Germanius had been given no inkling that they were even speaking to each other. It had required pulling Horton into their confidence. But Horton posed no problem. He had proven that even he was disgusted by the politics of  
Rome and that he despised the bishop as much as Arthur's men did. Things would work themselves out. Now he just had to keep his mother out of the plan. She would worry too much about his safety. If the bishop noticed his mother's anxiety over his comings and goings, he would figure that something was amiss. He was greedy and conniving but he was far from stupid.

Alecto took a moment to look at his mother. She seemed preoccupied and somewhat sad. Some would think she was still grieving for her dead husband. Not Alecto. He knew the truth of their life on the northern estate. He had seen how his mother had been taking care of Arthur's knight. For the first time in a long while he had seen his mother have purpose. He had seen the way they looked when one thought the other not looking. His mother wasn't old yet and if his father had been the kind of man he once thought him to be, his mother could have been very happy. But you can't make someone who you want them to be.

Alecto was about to ask his mother what was wrong when it hit him. She had taken a liking to the big man with the gentle nature! Pondering this realization only reinforced his belief that the man was decent. His mother had seen too much to ever get caught up in a relationship with someone who wasn't. When they had been riding in the wagon, Alecto had noticed how gentle Dagonet had been with Lucan. Only a man who was secure in who he was and how his life was could be that way with a total stranger. 'I only hope she isn't just reacting to someone who has shown her kindness after so many years of mistreatment', he thought.

"Mother, I've noticed that you and Arthur's man, Dagonet, have been spending quite a bit of time together. Is he going to be all right? Or is he still in need of your nursing?" He watched his mother's reaction to his words. Even at the young age of 15 he saw more than people thought he did. He knew his father had hurt his mother on more than one occasion and that he had brought other women to his bed when he thought no one would know. His mother had never let on to him that she was unhappy, but through the bruises, he had seen the signs of tears shed late at night. Her eyes had been red and puffy on more than one morning across the table from him. She deserved happiness and he really liked what he had observed of the man who had risked his life to the save the others. He was an honorable man who needed someone to appreciate him the way his mother would.

Fulcinia tried to find words to belie his questions, but truthfully there were none. Dagonet was well enough to take care of himself now. She just wanted to spend as much time as she could with him before they went in opposite directions. "Yes, my son, he will be fine. We just spend time talking about the differences in our lives. I have never met someone so different from our civilization before and I enjoy learning new things." She hoped that was enough to satisfy his curiosity. But from the look on his face it only spurred him onward. "Of course, I forget how cloistered you've been." His tone was a little sarcastic which only caused Fulcinia to blush more than before.

"Why, Alecto, do you interrogate me on this? Do you think me doing things to dishonor your father's memory?" She snapped, letting her anger come to the surface. Alecto did not acknowledge her anger. He just looked into her eyes for a moment longer before replying. "No Mother, I would never worry about my father's honor. How could I when he had none? I worry about you. I have seen more than you realize and I think it time you worried about yourself and stopped being the martyr. There is no need anymore. No one will think less of you and no one could think less of Father." With that, he took another bite of his stew, wiped his mouth and stood up. "Thank you for the meal. I need to rest now. We have a long journey in front of us or at least I do." He paused for a moment, then, turning toward his mother, he took her shoulders in his hands and looked into her face. "If you would rather stay with Dagonet, I would not disapprove. He seems to be a fine man. He could make you forget your past pains and you, I think, could do the same for him." Letting her go, he turned to leave the room. As he reached the doorway, she heard him say without turning around. "Think on what we've discussed. Rome is not the place for you. You have had enough of Rome, I think." Then he left without waiting for her response.

Fulcinia sat down at the table thinking about what Alecto had said. To her he was still her young son, as he probably always would be. She was surprised just how much he had matured almost as surprised at that as she was that he could do so without her noticing before now. Maybe he didn't need her as much as she thought. Or maybe she was hoping it was so. Then she could pursue her own life instead of taking care of others' lives. She had always felt responsible for the lives of the people her husband had ruined. But now that her son had shown his true nature, she finally felt she didn't have to carry the whole weight herself. Smiling to herself, she got up and carried Alecto's dirty dishes to the cook. Hoping that Dagonet was still not well enough to be in his bed, she went in search of the man she now knew she could fall in love with.


	11. Does Everybody Know?

Fulcinia walked swiftly toward the wing that housed the Knight's Quarters. Just as she entered the final turn in the hall she heard a woman's voice. She slowed a little and peeked around the corner. Coming from Dag's rooms was a pretty woman dressed in the clothes she had seen all around the fort. She was smiling and humming to herself and was headed straight for Fulcinia. When they came up even with each other Fulcinia nodded her head in greeting and kept going. She didn't understand why but she suddenly felt a cold chill run up her spine. The other woman had beautiful long red hair that she wore loose around her shoulders. She walked in a manner that spoke of familiarity and this brought on a feeling of jealousy that Fulcinia had not felt since the first few years of her marriage when Marius had started taking other women into his bed. It was a feeling that she didn't particularly want to feel ever again.

When she stepped up to Dag's door she hesitated. Would he be glad to see her after being visited by such a beautiful woman? She reached for the handle and then pulled her hand back. She didn't want to go in and find him smiling about his visitor or worse, she didn't want to go in there and be told he just wanted to be left alone. Reaching for the handle one last time, she jerked her hand back and quickly turned and ran back the way she had come. She'd just go to her quarters and think about this for a while before making a decision.

Dag was lying in his bed thinking about his possible future now that he was free in every aspect of his life. After trying to decide just what he was going to say to Fulcinia when she returned. He didn't want to seem pushy but after spending so much time pining away after Vanora he didn't plan to waste any more time than absolutely necessary. He was going over everything in his head when he realized she had been gone a long time. Even with the small window close to the ceiling he could tell the sun was well past the horizon. Maybe she was spending time with Alecto. If she wasn't back soon he would just go looking for her. It couldn't be that hard to walk if he held onto the wall as he went.

Just when he had decided he would have to get out of his bed he heard someone at the door. Without announcing themselves in walked Gawain and Gallahad. "Hey Dag, how're you doing?" Dag smiled, "I've been worse, but then again, I've been better." They all laughed and Gawain started telling him about his plans for freedom. "What you gonna do, Dag?" Gallahad asked in his slurred speech. Gawain laughed at Gallahad. "I told you to stop drinking hours ago. You just won't listen." He told the younger knight. "What ARE you going to do, Dag?" he finished.

Dag thought for a moment. He hadn't talked to Fulcinia about any of his thoughts and dreams. But he realized he wanted to include her in them if she was willing. "I thought about just sticking around here for awhile and then maybe going home just for a visit." He told the other too knights. "Hey, I've been lying here thinking about something. If I tell you will you keep it quiet until I talk to the lady I'm referring to?"

Gawain looked at Gallahad with a questioning look and then they both agreed. Whoever this 'lady' was, they would keep their friend's secret as long as he wanted them to. When they both nodded their agreement, Dag began telling his tale. "While I was sick and being nursed by Fulcinia, I began to think about what life would be like with her by my side." The look on Gawain's and Gallahad's faces made him pause. "I know, she's Roman and she just lost her husband. But from the stories I've heard from the peasants it wasn't a happy marriage. We all saw the bruises, but I saw how she acted like a stray dog that had been mistreated. She had a good heart. She kept as many of those people in the torture chamber alive as she could." He stopped, took a deep breath and looked at his friends.

He expected to see some other expression on their faces than smiles. "Do you guys think I'm being funny?" He asked, thinking they were laughing. Gawain held up his hand, "No, Dag, we think it's great. You're finally over Vanora or at least you've given up on her ever leaving Bors." Gawain's comment stopped Dag in his tracks. How did they know about Vanora? But when he asked the question out loud, they just broke into great guffaws of laughter.

"How could we not know?" Gallahad asked between laughs. "We've watched you watch her ever since we came to this fort. By the way, before she got with Bors, we were routing for you. After, well, Bors is our friend too and he's head over heels in love with her, just like you." He shrugged his shoulders letting Dag know that they wouldn't choose between their two friends.

"I didn't realize I was so easy to read." Dag said. "I tried to hide it, for Bors' sake. I knew he loved her, but I never thought he'd care enough for any woman to settle down like he did. I thought sooner or later I'd get to pick up the pieces of her broken heart, just like with Lancelot, and I was willing to wait as long as it took." He looked down at his huge hands and then looked back at the other two men. "I see now that I was wasting my time. But, well, a woman will make you do things you wouldn't normally do. Especially when the woman is worth having in your life. That's why when I started having feelings for Fulcinia, I decided to stop being the silent, patient man and tell her how I feel. The worst that can happen is she'll say no and it'll be over. The best, I finally have a woman to love and care for." He finished with a shrug and waited for the other two to tell him all the reasons a woman like Fulcinia wouldn't be interested in a man like him.

Instead, when he looked up, they were smiling like morons and congratulating him. "If, like you say, you've been talking to her about her life and telling her about yours, she knows what a good man you are. She knows you've only been killing people because you had to. You're not an evil man, anyone who's been around you for more than a few minutes can see that." Gawain told him. Gallahad added his thoughts. "You know, Dag, this Roman woman isn't bad to look at either. She covers up more than most men like, unless they don't want anyone else looking." Laughing, he continued. "She must not find you unappealing, she's been spending all her time with you. We wondered about that. Bors said you were doing okay, but when she wouldn't leave your side we all thought maybe he was just hoping."

Dag looked at Gallahad, and it suddenly hit him. She had been with him almost the whole time. She only left to check on Alecto and came back quickly. She had been gone for hours this time. Was something wrong with Alecto or with her? Dag sat up in the bed and moved from side to side. There was a little twinge when he pulled on his left side, but he could deal with it. He had dealt with much worse. "Help me get up out of this bed and into some clothes." He told the others. "Fulcinia left earlier to check on Alecto and she hasn't come back. Have you heard anything about something being wrong?"

Both Gawain and Gallahad shook their heads. They helped Dag get to his feet and held him until he was strong enough to stand on his on. It was amazing just how weak muscles become after only a few days of non-use. When he thought he could take a step without falling flat on his face he walked slowly over to get his clothes. They had been on the chair in the corner, but Fulcinia had hung them from a hook on the wall. He put his shirt over his head and with help from Gawain got it pulled down over his torso. Gallahad held his pants and Gawain steadied him while he stepped into them. He tried to tie the laces but his shoulder was too stiff. Gallahad helped him and he sat down on the chair to pull on his boots. He put his foot into the boot and Gawain pulled it on, then they did the same with the other one.

When they were finished, he stood up and grabbed Gawain's shoulder to steady himself, after a moment he felt like he could walk and told the others, "Let's go find Fulcinia. Something is wrong. She should have come back a long time ago." They left the room and went toward the common room where everyone ate their meals when they were at the fort.


	12. Friends in Need

Lancelot was heading toward his quarters when he ran into Fulcinia, literally. He grabbed her by the shoulders, "Hey, hold on now, be careful or you'll get hurt." When she looked up he saw that she looked odd. "Are you okay? Is something wrong? Is Dag worse? I thought he was getting well." Fulcinia realized what he was trying to say, and quickly tried to allay his concerns. "No, Dagonet is fine. I just need to get to my quarters and didn't realize I was going so fast. I'm sorry, please excuse me." Then she stepped around him and went on toward the guest quarters.

Lancelot stood there a moment and tried to figure out what had just happened. Being the pessimist of the group, he figured something terrible was going on and he didn't like being left out one little bit. He turned around and headed toward the guest quarters determined to find out what was going on. When he had almost made it to the room Fulcinia was staying in, he stopped and berated himself. 'What are you doing, Lancelot?' he asked himself. 'Are you crazy just running toward a woman's room without an invitation? What if she screams or something equally stupid?' Shaking his head, he turned and headed back toward the Knight's Quarters. He decided he'd just go see Dagonet and ask him if he knew what was happening.

When he arrived at Dag's door, he raised his hand to knock. Then on an impulse he just opened the door and walked in. Dag wasn't in the room and Lancelot wondered how he had gotten up and dressed and left the room. Things sure were getting weird around here and he was determined to find out why. He turned and left the room heading for the common room. Maybe someone there had seen Dag and knew which way he had gone.

He turned the corners warily expecting to bump into someone. He decided that he'd go see Arthur if he didn't find Dag. He walked into the common room and saw several people milling around or sitting at a table having a late bite to eat. He looked around but didn't see any of his fellow knights. There were lots of people who worked around the fort and he guessed they were either getting off work or getting ready to go to work. He took one last look around the room and then headed for Arthur's quarters.

When he was almost at Arthur's door, he ran into Jols. Not literally this time, but he was glad to see someone who might know something. "Hey Jols, have you seen Dag?" Lancelot asked the squire. "Lancelot, no I haven't. I've been with Arthur the last hour or so. Is he missing?" Jols seemed perplexed at Lancelot's question but being the helpful squire he was willing to help if someone would just tell him what he needed to do.

"I don't know, Jols. I went to seem him and he wasn't in his room. I thought he might be with Arthur." He lied to the squire. He didn't want to raise any suspicions unless he found something else amiss. "I'll just go to my quarters for now and check back on him later. Maybe he just went to get some fresh air or something. You know he's been cooped up in that room for a few days and he probably was getting stir crazy."

Jols nodded his agreement, then told Lancelot, "Maybe, but I heard he was getting pretty cozy with that Roman woman and she's been spending all of her time with him. Maybe he's with her and she took him for a walk. Was he well enough to walk without help?" Jols little bit of gossip caught Lancelot by surprise. Dagonet and Fulcinia? He hadn't heard that little tale yet and he was surprised that Dag could get 'cozy' with anyone since he'd been so stricken with Vanora. Well, maybe the knight had finally given up.

"You're probably right, Jols. I'll catch him later, maybe tomorrow then. See you." He told Jols as he turned to head back to his quarters. He was thinking about Dag and the many years he'd silently waited for Vanora to come around. Then he remembered the look on Fulcinia's face when they collided. She didn't exactly look like a woman who had been cozy with a man. Maybe Dag made a move on her and she reacted opposite of what Dag had expected. Dag was one of the gentlest men Lancelot had ever met among the knights, but he wasn't exactly good at reading other people. He took people at face value and was often shocked when they turned out different that he had thought them to be. Trusting was the word Arthur used to describe Dag, gullible was the one Lancelot used. Not that he ever used it to anyone else. He would never say anything that would wound Dag. Of all the other knights, Dag was the one he admired the most.

Over the past fifteen years the men under Arthur's command had seen a lot of death and suffering. Some turned into hardened warriors, others turned into angry old men. That is, the ones that survived. Dag was the only one who didn't seem to be affected by all he'd seen or done. He still remained the optimist and he always saw the good in people he met. Even the ones that ended up causing him pain either physical or mental. Lancelot shook his head at the dilemma that was Dag as he walked back toward the man's room. He had told Jols he'd go to his own room and catch Dag later, but he had to check one more time before he gave up. He'd probably just find out Dag had gone in search of Fulcinia to apologize for something he'd said or done to upset the woman. Women were so easy to upset. Sometimes you didn't even know what you'd done, but you had to apologize sooner or later just to keep the peace. Sooner was usually the best time. Later might make things worse in the long run.

Lancelot came upon Dag's door as he pondered what made women the way they were. The door was standing open and Dag was sitting on his bed looking down at the floor. Gawain and Gallahad were standing around looking ill at ease over something and seemed to be trying to figure a way out. When they saw Lancelot the look of utter relief was almost comical. Gawain was the first to speak. "Lancelot, it's about time you stopped by to see Dag." Then Gallahad added, "Yeah, Gawain and I have been helping him look for Fulcinia, you know, the Roman woman, Alecto's mother?" Lancelot tried to cipher the look Gallahad was trying to convey, but despite his best effort he was still as lost as he was before he'd arrived.

"Hey, guys, what you been looking for her for?" He hoped his tone didn't let them know he'd been looking for all of them, any of them. "I saw her a while ago. She was heading away from here in a bit of a hurry." When Dag heard that he jerked his head up. "What time was this? Where was she going? Did you talk to her? What did she say?" He was firing off questions faster than Lancelot could keep up. It all came out in one long sentence and it took him a moment to sort through it all.

"She was heading toward the guest's quarters. She seemed to be in a hurry. Oh, about an hour ago I guess. I tried but she just brushed me off and kept going. Let me see, did I answer all your questions or did I leave something out?" He looked from Dag to Gawain and then Gallahad. The other two knights just shrugged but Dag told Lancelot, "She must have been on her way back here after seeing Alecto. I don't understand it. Why was she leaving again without even coming in to tell me? It's not like her to just run off like that." Then he brought his hand down on his knee with a loud slap. "I bet she saw Vanora here and didn't want to interrupt us."

The three knights looked at Dag. Then Gawain exclaimed, "Vanora's been to see you?" When Dag nodded, Lancelot questioned him, "What could she have seen that would have sent her into a tailspin? She didn't look happy when she literally ran me over just down the hall. When I asked her if you were okay all she did was say something that sounded like a yes, then she took off again."

Dag shook his head and thought how ironic it was that it took getting over Vanora before he got into trouble over her. He blew all the air out of his lungs in one huge sigh, then he took a deep breath and told the others what he thought was going on. "I asked Fulcinia if she could learn to have feelings for me. She told me yes then told me I wouldn't be happy living in Rome. She went to see Alecto after that and said she'd be back later. When she left I was sitting here thinking about my life if I did go to Rome when Vanora stopped by to check on me. I was so amazed that I hadn't thought of her even once since we got back, that I didn't really have much to say and she only stayed a couple of minutes. I don't even think she closed the door when she came in the room. When she left I waited for Fulcinia to come back and when she didn't Gawain and Gallahad helped me get dressed so I could go find her. Then you came in and that's all I know. I'm guessing that Fulcinia saw Vanora leave my room and if I've been as easy to read as you all say then she probably knew a little about Vanora and didn't want to interfere." When he had finished, he looked like he'd been hit in the stomach with his own axe.

Lancelot couldn't help but feel sorry for his friend, but then he felt the man had a lot to learn about women. "Hey, Dag, why don't you just go see Fulcinia and see what's going on?" Dag looked up and gave Lancelot a look of utter disbelief. "How can I go to her and tell her that the woman I've loved for the past 10 or so years came to see me as soon as she left this afternoon? Won't that sound like it was planned?"

"Oh, give me a break, Dag! What are you going to do? Just sit here and be miserable like you've been for the past 10 years?" Seeing the look of anger creeping up his friends face, Lancelot decided he'd better try a different strategy. "Look, when I ran into Fulcinia she was noticeably upset about something. Why would she be upset if she didn't have feelings for you?"

Dag had been about to explode when Lancelot changed his tone. He had watched the other knight flit from one woman to another at the fort and he was damned if he'd take advice or criticism from him. Then when he made the last point it kind of knocked the wind out of his sails. "Okay, Lancelot, I'll go. But first I think I need to clean up a little. I don't think I've washed since we left to go find Alecto and I'm sure she's tired of tending a smelly old warrior." He gingerly stood up and headed for the bowl and pitcher sitting on his bedside table. The other knights seemed relieved that they could leave and making excuses headed for the door. Lancelot was the only one who stayed behind in case Dag needed help. He was looking better but he still seemed weaker than normal.

"Dag, I'm sorry I lost my patience earlier." He said as soon as the others were out of earshot. "But you deserve better than sitting back and waiting for some woman to decide you're worth having. Of all of us, you treat the women you know better than anybody else. Sometimes I get angry at you because you sit back and let women treat you badly or not at all because you can't say or do anything to upset them. You're a free man now and it is time you go after what you want. Even if she says no is that worse than not knowing?" He finished and looked to Dag for an answer.

Dag stood with his back to Lancelot for a moment, and then he turned around and faced his friend. "No, it's not any worse. But, sometimes not knowing can give you hope." He looked at Lancelot and shrugged his shoulders. "I guess, I just don't like being rejected, so I keep my feelings to myself. Or at least I thought I did. It seems that I'm easier to read than I thought." He kind of laughed at himself. Lancelot laughed with him. "You know Dag, in a group as small as ours it's not hard to figure out what's going on. I think Tristan might have been the last to figure it out. He's so removed from the rest of us he doesn't always get involved in our day-to-day goings on."

Dag agreed with Lancelot and continued to change his clothes. When he had finished, he turned around. "Well, what do you think?" he asked Lancelot. "Definitely an improvement, do you want me to go as far as her doorway with you, in case you get tired and need assistance?" Dag shook his head and they walked out of the room. "I'm on watch tonight if you need someone to talk to afterwards." Lancelot told Dag as they parted ways at the turn in the hallway. Dag nodded his understanding and went in search of the woman he'd grown to love.


	13. It All Comes Together?

Dag came to Fulcinia's door or at least he hoped it was her door. Usually when the fort had important visitors, which was seldom, they stayed in these rooms because they were the least accessible without going past the rooms occupied by the knights. That gave the visitors a feeling of security that most of them desired. He didn't think Fulcinia was concerned with her security but these were the best guest quarters and Dag hoped Arthur had given them to her.

Dag took a deep breath and knocked gently on the door. He heard Fulcinia's soft voice in response to his knock. He turned the handle and walked into the room. She was sitting on the chair next to her bed holding her hand in her lap. "Dag, what are you doing up and about? You should still be resting." She chided him in the form of a greeting. "I feel much better, thanks to the great care I received." He replied to her question.

Fulcinia stood up and moved to her bed. "Please have a seat." She motioned to the chair she had just vacated. Dag moved over to the chair and sat down. He tried not to groan when his side burned. She saw him flinch and moved to his side. "See, you've hurt yourself. Let me check your bandages." She made to remove his shirt and he raised his arms to help her. She removed the bandage from the wounded side and took care checking the wound for any signs that he had done any damage. "Well, it all looks fine, I guess the pain is just from the healing process."

Dag smiled at her and saw her face flush. "Fulcinia, why did you not come back to my room after your visit with Alecto?" He hadn't meant to let that be the first thing he said, but when he saw her blush he just had to know the truth. She took a moment to look at him and then she decided to just tell him the truth. "I was heading back there when I saw the woman coming out of your room. I thought she was an old flame and I didn't want to bother you anymore. You were healing quite nicely and didn't need to put up with my company anymore." She hesitated and Dag took the opportunity to interrupt.

"Fulcinia, my beautiful Roman, I don't know where to begin. The lady you saw was Vanora, the mother of Bor's children. She was coming by to check on me." When he saw her face relax, he felt a pang of guilt that he had so easily guided her away from the idea of a romantic relationship between himself and Vanora. "But there's more. I have to be completely honest with you, as you've been with me." He started. "This is a long story, would you like to go to the tavern and get some refreshments?"

Fulcinia shook her head and he prepared to tell her his whole story. "When I came here I was a boy of almost 17 years. Bors and I were recruited from the same village, so we'd grown up together. Vanora was a young girl whose family had all been killed in one fight or the other and she supported herself by working in the tavern. I always thought she was beautiful but I was a gangly young man and didn't have the courage to approach her. Lancelot was the first to catch her eye and I'm afraid he was the first to break her heart." Dag took a moment. Do you have anything to drink here? Some water, maybe?" He waited for Fulcinia to get the cup and fill it from the pitcher on the table. When she had returned to her seat on the bed, he took a drink and prepared to continue.

"After the affair with Lancelot, I started talking to her, trying to get the courage to talk to her about my feelings for her. That's when Bors got involved and Vanora fell for him. I've spent the last 13 years waiting for her to give up on Bors and notice my feelings." He noticed that Fulcinia was getting paler by the moment and decided to end the story as quickly as possible. "Then we went on the mission to bring Alecto back here. I met the only woman who made me forget Vanora." When he saw the look of distrust cross her face he knew he had to make her believe.

"Fulcinia, when you saw Vanora leave my room I had just come to the realization that I had not thought about her since the first time I had met you. She really did come to check on me and she only stayed a few moments. I realize now that I didn't really love her. I was in love with the thought of love." He looked into Fulcinia's eyes and saw the conflict of emotions. She wanted to believe him, but she was afraid of being hurt again. Marius must have made her life a living hell and he so wanted her to be the woman she was supposed to be. He could see the love and kindness she had shown to so many people and he had seen the passion hidden beneath the surface.

He wanted to tell her everything. "Even from the time I saw you serving us a meal at your estate I knew you were much more than Marius would allow. I watched you and waited for a chance to get to know you better. I didn't mean to almost die for that chance but I don't regret it." He smiled at her and was comforted by her return smile. She had a vulnerable quality about her. The way she sat with her hands in her lap, the way she tried to pretend she wasn't vulnerable all spoke volumes about her true feelings.

"Please believe what I say. I would never do or say anything to cause you pain or harm. I can't say that I'm in love with you. Not and be completely honest. But I can say I have feelings for you and with time I know those feelings would become love. I think you might be feeling some of the same things. Am I wrong?" He decided he had said enough. It was now in her hands and he had to let her voice her feelings now that he had put his out like this.

He waited for several minutes and was getting nervous that she hadn't spoken when she finally said something. "Dagonet, the brave Dagonet. I too watched you from afar and saw that of all Arthur's knights, you were the kindest and most compassionate. I admit the beauty of this woman, Vanora, intimidated me when I saw her coming from your room. I thought she was an old flame who had waited for a chance to see you alone. I couldn't believe you would choose me over her beauty if you had the chance to choose." She paused and looked at Dag and he saw the insecurity in her eyes. "I came to my quarters to think about things for a while. I couldn't decide whether to come to you or just pack and get ready to travel to Rome with Alecto without ever telling you my feelings." She stopped talking and he stood up. He walked over to sit beside her on the bed so he could hold her hands in his.

"Fulcinia, you are as beautiful to me now as Vanora ever was to me before. Will you consider staying with me here? I thought a lot about what you said when you left earlier today. I would not be happy in Rome. The politics of the Roman Empire are not for a man as simple as I am. But if you say you must go there, I will accompany you because right now I could not bear to see you leave without me." He waited for her to answer and was surprised when she pulled her hands away from his and stood up.

"Dag, Alecto said some things this afternoon that made me consider doing just that. He has noticed that I've spent a lot of time with you and has given me his blessing to stay, but I'm not sure I would be doing the right thing. I'm afraid that we are moving too quickly." When she saw Dag move to protest she held her hand up and continued. "No, let me finish." When he settled back down, she relaxed and came back over to sit in the chair he had vacated. "Dag, we have neither had a happy relationship for a very long time. Are you sure we are not just grasping at the first person to show us the kindness we crave? That is why I did not come back this afternoon. Not all of my time has been spent thinking about the woman I thought you might choose over me. Some of that time has been spent searching my soul for the truth of our situation." When she stopped talking, she looked at Dag and smiled a truly beautiful smile.

When he saw her smile he felt as if his heart would burst. She was the most beautiful woman at that moment. Her smiles lit her eyes like the sun lit the sky in the morning. "Fulcinia, you are correct in saying I have not had the happiest relationships. Most of them have been an attempt to forget the woman I thought I loved. But this time I know that is not the case. When you did not return this afternoon I didn't know what to do, but I did know I was going to do something. I couldn't let you go away without telling you how I feel. I've never been that way before. I went for 13 years without telling Vanora how I felt. But with you, I had to tell you."

Fulcinia had steadily come to terms with her fears as she heard the truth in Dag's words. There was no way this gentle man could lie to her. His face was like reading a book. Every word was mirrored on his features. She hadn't realized she was smiling at him until he stood up and walked the two or three steps it took to be at her side. He went down on one knee and took her hands in his. "Fulcinia, will you stay with me or do I have to go to Rome?"

Pulling her hands from his, she put them on each side of his face. "Yes, Dagonet, I will stay with you. Rome holds nothing for me and I want to get to know more about you and the life you live." Dag put his hands on top of hers and pulled them from his face kissing the palm of each in turn. "I think I'd better say goodnight and go back to my own quarters. I'd rather stay here, but I think it would be better if I didn't." Fulcinia smiled shyly at his implication. Dag stood up and she walked with him to the door. Dag walked slowly toward his room with a smile on his face.

He decided to take Lancelot up on his offer to listen and turned down the hallway toward the parapet at the top of the wall and found Lancelot sitting on a bench by the wall looking at something in his hand. He looked like he was in deep thought and Dag almost turned around to leave when Lancelot looked up at him and gave a small, sad half-smile.

"Hey Dag, how did it go?" was all he asked. Dag walked over to the bench and looked down at what Lancelot was holding in his hand. It appeared to be a carved wooden talisman but Dag did not recognize it. "What have you got Lancelot?" He wanted to tell Lancelot all about his meeting with Fulcinia, but Lancelot looked so lost he had to find out what was going through the other man's mind.

Lancelot looked back down at his talisman and then he looked up at Dag. "My sister gave me this when I left my village 15 years ago. It belonged to my Father and to his Father before him. I guess it's supposed to bring me luck and take me back home." He paused for a moment and looked back at the figure. "Trouble is I don't know if I want to go home anymore. What could possibly be there after all this time?"

Dag's friend sounded so dejected and Dag desperately wanted to say or do something to make him feel better. It just wasn't fair that they had spent so much time fighting to stay alive to have so little to look forward to. But no matter how hard Dag tried to think of something that would cheer Lancelot's mood, he kept coming up with nothing. Finally he decided to just tell him about Fulcinia like he'd intended and then go away and let the man have his time to brood.

Dag spent the next half hour or so explaining what the problem had been with Fulcinia and how he'd explained things to her and made her understand. When he told Lancelot that she had agreed to stay at the fort so they could get to know each other better Lancelot congratulated him and told him how he hoped they would find all the happiness they both deserved. His sincerity made Dag feel guilty about his newfound happiness and he walked over and clasped Lancelot's shoulder.

"Lancelot, I know you feel you've killed too many men to ever expect to be happy, but if you look deep into your heart you'll realize we only did what we had to do. It was kill or be killed and a lot of the men you've killed were to save the lives of your friends and fellow knights. You've saved my life on several occasions and I know the gods will not punish you for that. It is now time for you to open your heart and forget the past. Look around you. There are women who would do anything to be with the famous Lancelot of Arthur's Knights. Some you haven't even noticed yet. Don't let the mistakes of our forefathers rob you of your life and the heir to your family heritage." He then gave Lancelot's shoulder a final squeeze and turned and left him to think about what he'd said. He just hoped some of it gave him cause to rethink his future.

Dag headed back to his own quarters. The events of the afternoon and evening had drained what little energy he'd gathered from his days in bed. All he wanted to do was lay on his bed and go to sleep thinking about what his future could be. It felt good to finally be able to think of alternate paths he could take now that he no longer was a slave to the master called Rome.


	14. Saxons

Lancelot stood up and walked the parapet at the top of the wall. He was thinking about what Dag had told him. How easy it would be to forget all the things he had done, what he had become in the fifteen years he had been in service to Rome, but to forget the sins of the past only causes one to make the same mistakes time and again and he was damned if he'd make these mistakes again!

He stopped for a moment and looked out over the small grassy plain on the north side of Hadrian's Wall. He strained his eyes trying to see what was moving about along the tree line. He assumed it was a group of Woads keeping an eye out for Guinnevere, but there seemed to be too much movement for Woads. They usually traveled in groups of a dozen or so and no more and the movement he saw appeared to be a large colony of ants milling around the mound they made in the earth.

After several moments he saw small flickering lights appear all around the plain and he realized the Saxons had finally made it to the wall. Arthur and the others had hoped the group of peasants and the Bishop's caravan would be far from the wall before the first sign of Saxons appeared. It seemed they had been dreaming a fool's dream. Lancelot took off for the Knight's quarters to wake the others. Unless they were ready to travel south before the sun rose over the horizon they would never be able to get away before the battle started. Then it struck him, this was no battle, but a war, to be fought by a few who would most likely die trying to protect the land that he hated to the depths of his heart.

The first door he came to was the door to Jol's rooms. He knocked loudly and yelled, "Jols, wake Arthur while I wake the rest of the men. The Saxons have arrived and it looks like they brought all the men old enough to carry a weapon. We must prepare to leave as soon as possible." Having said this he did as he said he would and went to the next door and pounded with his fist.

"Gawain, wake up, come to the wall now." And he immediately headed for the next until he had pounded on all of them. After he was certain they were all awake, he ran back to the wall followed closely by the others. When they saw the flickering lights across the top of the wall, he could feel the tension rising in the others. He looked at each one in turn and then turned back to the wall to stare at the sight below.

When he heard someone running, Lancelot turned to see Arthur coming up the steps followed by Guinnevere. Arthur, then Guinnevere looked across the plain and then Arthur looked at Lancelot. He turned his back to the men he called friends and looked at the frightened peasants at the foot of the stairs. When he turned back to his men, Lancelot saw something in his features that made his heart drop. At that moment he knew that Arthur was going to stay and fight the army waiting to kill anyone who stood in their path to conquering Britain.

"Men, my time with you is ended." After that Lancelot tuned him out and began think of an argument to change his friend's mind. When he felt Arthur turn around and head down the stairs Lancelot looked at Guinnevere and took off after him.

He tried every argument he could think of. He begged, he pleaded but nothing would change his mind. When Arthur finally told him to be his friend and not try to dissuade him he stopped arguing. He put his hand on his friend's shoulder and let him go. It tore at his heart to see his friend walk away, but he realized it was not his duty to change the mind of the man who had become his best friend since he had been ripped from his home so many years before. He looked up and saw Guinnevere watching him. He gave her a look that he hoped conveyed his feelings that this was her fault. She had seduced Arthur and persuaded him to help her people regain their control of their lands. Having done that, he stormed off determined to get away before his sense of duty to his commander caused him to do something he might not live to regret.

By the time the sun had lightened the sky to the east they were all packed up and ready to head south. The men from Sarmatia would turn back north as soon as they were away from the Saxon army. The caravan slowly made its way along the road leading away from Hadrian's Wall. Each of Arthur's knights looked to the hill to the right of the road to see Arthur sitting on his warhorse. He was an impressive sight even to them. He wore his best battle armor and had his dragon banner flying from the standard. Lancelot could hear the wind whistling through the banner making the sound of a dragon roaring. He knew it was only an illusion intended to frighten the enemy but the sound called to him all the same.

Suddenly Bors pulled away from the rest and rode a short way toward Arthur. He drew his sword, held it high in the air and gave the battle cry that they had all learned to expect when the man rode into battle. "Rah-h-h-h-h-h" he shouted at the top of his lungs. After what seemed forever, they heard Arthur give the answering call. The memories of many battles played across Lancelot's eyes and he quickly closed them to keep him from seeing anymore of the hateful scenes. It would not take much to make them all turn and follow Arthur once more into battle.

The six men silently rode a little further down the path, each in his own thoughts, when suddenly the horses began to dance around. Each man tried to quiet his mount the best he could. Suddenly they all stopped and looked at each other. The first to make a move was Tristan. He looked at his hawk, flicked its beak and gave it a push to fly. "You're free." Was all he said and the bird took off in a flutter of wings. They all watched as the bird flew overhead away from their group and then each man dismounted and headed for the wagon carrying their battle gear.

Dagonet looked at the wagon carrying Fulcinia and Alecto. He knew if he stayed he might never get to know what life with her would be like. But he could not desert the man who had taken them all in and showed them how to fight for themselves as well as for Rome. He raised his hand in a salute and he watched her raise her hand in a small wave. She looked frightened but not once did he see her hesitate as if she wanted to stop him doing what she knew he had to do. He flashed her a smile of reassurance and was glad to see her return the gesture. He knew if he lived through this he would search for her if he had to go all the way to Rome to find her.

**Author's Note: **Sorry this chapter is so short. I'm running into problems with this battle scene from the movie. But most of my writing comes from dreaming… so I decided to go to bed and dream up the rest of it. Hope you're not too disappointed in this one. The next one will be better I think.


	15. Leaving Hurts

Fulcinia and Alecto were watching the lone figure on the hill. His majestic stance spoke of his faith in the outcome of the battle of good over evil. Fulcinia looked back to where Dagonet was riding with the other knights. She knew in her heart that sooner or later one or all of them would ride up to join their commander even though they were free from their pact with the Roman Empire. No matter which one joined him first, she knew Dag would join him before they were out of sight of the fort. It pained her heart to think she might lose him before she had a chance to know all there was to know about the man she had found in her twilight of life. But she had long ago stopped trying to change the road fate sent her on. It was useless and only caused more grief in the end. It was better to accept what happened and relish the good memories that came along the way.

She kept watching him until the wagon turned a small curve in the road that took him from her sight. She sighed and Alecto placed his hand on her shoulder. He immediately understood her sadness for he felt the same. The men he had come to know the hearts of these men and hated to see them suffer any longer for the sins of his country. But destiny was a thing that neither required nor wanted interference from the puny beings it controlled. He knew Arthur believed in free will, but Alecto had come to the conclusion that free will only reinforced fate. Men chose their own paths according to the paths fate presented them and nudged them toward. He gave one final prayer to his God that these men would be nudged toward the path that led to happiness after so many years of pain and servitude.

When the knights rounded the curve in the road, Fulcinia again saw Dagonet riding with the others. She let the breath she was holding slip from her lips. She had fully expected him to be missing if not all of the men. Maybe she had misjudged him and he truly wanted to start a new life without the killing, but she still believed he would find it necessary to return to his commander one last time. She was brought out of her reveries by the sound of horses whickering and men's voices trying to calm them. She was not surprised to see the knights look to each other for reassurance before they dismounted and headed for the weapons cart.

When Dagonet looked ahead to the wagon Fulcinia was riding in he saw the half-smile on her lips. He flashed her a grin and shrugged his shoulders as if to say he didn't understand it himself. When she raised her hand in a wave and nodded her head acknowledging his decision, he felt a relief he did not know he had been concerned about. She understood him better than he thought she would. He just hoped she understood that he would find her when this was all over. All he had to do was survive and they would have their chance at happiness.

Dag watched the wagon until it topped a small rise in the land and moved out of his line of sight. When he turned back to his friends he found Lancelot watching him curiously. He walked over to him and stood there waiting for whatever comment Lancelot found necessary to say. Instead of saying anything, all he did was nod his head and continue to put on his armor. Dag returned the nod and turned around in a circle looking at each of the knights in turn. They were his friends and had been his brothers-in-arms for as long as he cared to remember.

In a way, Dag felt he was saying goodbye to all of them just in case something happened and one of them didn't make it. Over the years they had all fought together and knew that at times the others had done some great deed that kept another alive. He silently thanked them for the years of friendship and hoped they all had a chance at the life he knew they desired. Having mentally closed this chapter to his life, he mounted his horse and waited for the others. When they were ready, Lancelot led the group across the plains toward the man who had earned their respect and loyalty. When Lancelot and the others rode up to Arthur's side the man did not show any surprise at their appearance. Although they had earned their freedom to choose, he was not surprised they chose loyalty over any other choice. He was proud to stand with them and knew his chances of success had just been upped a thousand-fold.

"Knights, the gift of freedom is yours by right. But the homes we seek resides not in some distant land. It's in us and in our actions on this day! If this is our destiny, then so be it. But let history remember, that as _free_ men we _chose_ to make it so!" Arthur wanted his friends to know that he understood that they had had 'chosen' to stand with him in this battle. They did not do it out of duty. He wanted them to know that he appreciated their loyalty more than he ever had. They were looking to him and he nodded for Tristan to take care of the traitor that had brought the Saxons to their new home.

With a signal from Arthur, Jols opened the gate to the fort putting the plan into action. The Saxon leader sent in the men that were left after the battle on the ice. The gate slammed shut behind them and their actions let Arthur know that they realized their fate had just been sealed. They garnered what bravery they had left and prepared to fight to the bitter end. Arthur gave the signal and Guinnevere and the Woads let loose a stream of arrows that took the army by surprise. They heard the whistling of the arrows flying through the air but because of the smoke from the fires set by the locals they could not tell which direction they were coming from until the first arrow struck its mark. As Arthur and the knights came galloping at full speed toward the group of Saxons they brought their shields up to cover themselves from more arrows. They were not prepared for the onslaught of fierce warriors on horseback and the knights easily took out one or more each.

The Saxons turned to prepare for another assault from the direction the knights had gone in and were hit from behind again by arrows from Woad bows. As they turned to prepare for more arrows, Arthur led the others on a second assault from behind them. With all the smoke and being hit from front and rear it took only a short time for all the Saxon infantrymen to be lying on the ground dead or dying. Save one who quickly and without hindrance made it to the gate and out toward the Saxon leader. Arthur had signaled his forces to let the man go so he could tell his leader what they had to expect inside. Sometimes an army could cause its own defeat just by letting fear take over. He hoped that was the case this time, but he didn't have a lot of faith in that part of the plan.

Ganis opened the gate one more time and the main Saxon army came running into the fort. When the leader sent part of the army to flank the knights Arthur watched so the Woads could cut them off with a stream of fire with their flaming arrows. The only way to defeat such a large army was to cut them into smaller pieces and take them out one small group at a time. When that part of the plan had gone into effect, Arthur led his knights onto the battlefield one last time. From this moment on they would have to fight to stay alive and as in so many battles before they would have to cover each other's backs as much as possible. With one final prayer to God Arthur struck the first Saxon with Excalibur and the final battle to a terrible, useless war had begun.


	16. The Battle, again!

After the lone surviving Saxon infantryman had left the enclosure of the fort, Arthur and his knights began to prepare for the final battle with the remainder of the army. He led the group back to the hillside where they had sat so regally on their impressive warhorses. When they took their places, Arthur looked at each for a moment. They looked battle worn and the battle had only begun! "Men, as in so many of our battles, I am proud to fight by your sides. Over the past 15 years you have proven yourselves a hundred times over and no matter the outcome of this battle, I want you to understand how much I appreciate your loyalty, both past and present." As he spoke to the men who had become his family, he saw them sit a little higher in the saddle and knew they would be ready no matter what came next.

The knights watched the Saxons come running into the fort. There were still a lot of them including the leader, Cerdic and his son, Cynric. If things went as planned, the father and son would be separated giving the newly formed army of Britain a fighting chance against such a large army. By Arthur's calculations they were outnumbered five to one. Unfortunately, Merlin agreed with his assessment even going as far as saying it was possibly an underestimate, pointing out that they had not seen the entire army except at night.

Arthur had been correct in one calculation. The Saxon leader had split the army into two groups trying to flank the knights from both sides. This was working in their favor and if the other side of Arthur's 'army' didn't get too far ahead of themselves they would stop any chance of them reuniting after the battle started. True to their word, the Woads did not move until Arthur gave the signal. The sky was lit with thousands of flaming arrows as Guinnevere led the attack by air. When the ditch full of pitch had been set on fire Guinnevere led the Woad army onto the battlefield to fight Cynric and his half of the army.

Cerdic and his half of the Saxon forces spotted Arthur and his men on top of the hill and started running in their direction. After a couple of seconds, the knights spurred their warhorses forward and they hit the Saxons at full gallop. The Saxons had undoubtedly fought cavalrymen before because it only took them a short time to have all of the knights off their horses and fighting hand-to-hand combat on the ground. The first to fall was Bors. He galloped into the fray swinging his huge axe and before he made the first full swing he had been knocked off his horse by a battle hammer. He quickly got up and began to fight without taking time to pick his opponents. He swung blindly taking as many as he could with each swing. To anyone watching from the sidelines the sight was gruesome. With each swing he chopped off enemy body parts and blood was spurting in every direction. He was an effective killer.

Lancelot stayed on his horse longer than any of the other knights except for Tristan. Tristan stopped his horse as soon as he found the Saxon leader and dismounted. He quickly eliminated several Saxons as he methodically worked his way toward the man. Lancelot was fighting a small group of men when one jumped him knocking him off his horse. The man landed on top of him and was trying to choke him. Lancelot grabbed a knife from the man's leg scabbard and stabbed him making him release his hold on Lancelot's throat. He then pulled his twin blades and took care of a couple more of the Saxons.

Dagonet welded his huge axe with the precision of many years of practice. It was hard for any of the Saxons to get close enough to cause the big man any damage because of the circumference of his swing but one of the Saxons slipped in from behind and cut Dag across the shoulders. When he turned to attack that man another man came in from the other side. It seemed the only way they could fight the knight was in pairs. When Gallahad saw what was happening he quickly nocked an arrow and took care of one of the enemy. This gave Dag all he needed to quickly take care of the other with a swing of the axe. He then took off and continued his efforts. Once more he owed his life to one of his comrades.

Arthur always tried to keep an eye on the men who had become like family to him. He felt responsible for their welfare and tried to take a moment to locate them in battle when he had a chance. It was this duty to his men that saved Gawain's life in this battle. Arthur saw Gawain riding into a group of Saxons when an arrow went flying through the air and hit Gawain in the right shoulder. The impact knocked him from his horse and one of the Saxons was heading toward him when Arthur stopped him. Gawain pulled the arrow out of his shoulder and returned to the fighting. Arthur wasn't even sure the other man had seen his action and it never mattered to him. It was just something he did and he knew the others did the same for him.

The battle had been raging for quite a while when Lancelot got a chance to look around. There seemed to be a lot less of the enemy than before. He watched while a group of Woad warriors were making quick work of an equally large group of the Saxons. It ferocity of their battle technique impressed him. He knew what that technique felt like from the other side. After spending so many years killing these people he finally understood why they fought so hard against him. Freedom, the same thing he had been fighting for but for totally different reasons. He fought to gain his freedom and return to his home. They fought to keep the freedom for their home. He felt pride in what he was doing for the first time since he decided to follow Arthur.

That thought had just come over him when he noticed Cynric fighting with Guinnevere. In the moment he was watching he saw Guinnevere get in a couple of good hits with her short sword. Then suddenly Cynric hit her with his shield knocking her to the ground. She landed on her back and Cynric was advancing with his sword poised to strike when Lancelot grabbed his horse and jumped the fiery ditch. He jumped off his horse and blocked the blow just in time. As soon as he saw her roll out of the way he gave all of his attention to the man he was fighting. They swapped a few hits but none were dangerous enough to inflict harm. Lancelot finally got in a blow that knocked Cynric to the ground. Just then another Saxon attacked from behind Lancelot.

Lancelot quickly turned and blocked the man's sword. In only a few strokes Lancelot had felled him and turned to finish the fight with Cynric. Guinnevere gave a yell causing Lancelot to pause in his turn. An arrow glanced off his shoulder cutting through to the skin. Lancelot finished his turn and threw his sword as one would throw a big knife. The sword landed squarely in the middle of Cynric's chest. The Saxon looked stunned more than pained and fell to the ground. Lancelot looked over to Guinnevere and saw the big smile on her face. He acknowledged her action and resumed his fighting. He would have been dead when the arrow hit him in the heart if she hadn't stopped his turn.

Tristan finally made it to Cerdic after killing his second-in-command in one stroke delivered as if Tristan was dancing some strange dance of death. When he posed in his battle stance he gave the older swordsman a feral smile. The dance began with each man plunging and parrying in unison. They both knew if Cerdic fell the battle would soon be over. It would only be a short time before word spread and the Saxons withdrew or surrendered. There was no reason to fight without his leadership.

Arthur looked over and saw his scout battling the man he had promised to kill. He began working his way over to where they were fighting. Just as he arrived Tristan took a huge blow to the back of his legs. It wouldn't be a killing blow in itself but it put him down long enough for Cerdic to prepare his killing blow. Arthur arrived just in time and put Excalibur between Cynric's sword and the head of Tristan. When he stopped the blow, Tristan fell forward and rolled away from the other two men. He was completely spent and he didn't think he could stand on his legs to continue the battle. He would just roll far enough away and continue to protect himself as best he could.

The battle between Arthur and the Saxon was a sight to behold. They danced around each trying to get the upper hand. Tristan thought he wouldn't be able to get to him in time when he saw Cerdic give Arthur what he thought was the same crippling blow. Arthur went to one knee and Tristan saw Cerdic raise his sword to kill Arthur. Just then Arthur plunged Excalibur into Cerdic's middle, the blade going completely through him. Arthur stood up confidently, turned and twisted the blade. He grabbed the Saxon by the hair and held his head where he could only look at Arthur until the life left his eyes. Arthur released him and saw him fall face down onto the British soil. It seemed Britain was not quite ready to be under Saxon rule.

Just as everyone thought, the word spread about the battlefield and the Saxons took off north in groups gaining in numbers as their numbers dwindled. Arthur ran over to his scout and found he was still alive and alert. He went down on one knee and made sure that he was in no danger of dying anytime soon and then he stood up and surveyed the carnage of the battlefield. It didn't take long for him to locate all his comrades as they slowly made it in his direction. He was pleased they were all making it on their on legs and seemed in fairly decent shape. He looked to the sky and prayed to his God, "Thank you oh Lord for sparing the lives of these brave men." Then he turned and found the woman who had helped him come to terms with his true feelings. He was raised a Roman but his true allegiance belonged to the land of his mother.


	17. Honesty Between Friends

All the men walked around the field claiming bodies and helping anyone whose injuries weren't deadly. The knights helped for awhile, then Bors and Dagonet told Arthur they wanted to prepare for their journey to catch up with their loved ones. The plan was to travel fast and light so they could catch up before they left Britain for Rome. Neither man wanted to travel to that hated place. Arthur bade them farewell and Godspeed and they left. They promised to try and return before the celebration and wedding of Arthur and Guinnevere. They would not give their word to be there. Their loved ones were more important as strange as it sounded to Dag. He never thought he'd be as lucky as he was at this moment. A short trip and he would finally be with the woman he loved.

The two men didn't even take the time to clean up except for the wounds they sustained in battle. They did take off their armor but kept on the clothes they had been wearing underneath. Neither wanted to take the time to change. They took off at a fast pace leaving no room for conversation. Bors kept looking over at Dag wondering how he had gotten so involved with the Roman woman in such a short time without his friend knowing anything about it. They had been riding for several hours when they slowed down to cool the horses down before stopping for a short rest. As they rode at a slower speed Bors tried to engage Dag in conversation.

"So, Dag, tell me 'bout you and this Roman woman. What's her name?" he tried to sound like he was just making conversation so Dag wouldn't know he really wanted to know the details. Dag looked over at his friend with a big smile on his face. "I guess I started paying attention to her when we arrived at the estate. I could tell she wasn't happy," he paused and Bors took it upon himself to interject, "she'd been beaten too. Did you see the bruises she was trying to hide?"

Dag frowned, "Yeah, I guess that's what got my attention. She would catch me watching her and you could see the fear when she looked at her husband to make sure he did not see." As if reflecting on what had happened between the two, he stopped talking for a moment. Shaking his head, he looked at Bors. "She was different that the women we've been around at the fort. She was gentle in a way I haven't seen in anyone before. I got to spend time with her while she was taking care of my injuries and I liked what I learned about her. I guess she liked me too because she agreed to stay with me here so we could know more and that's when the Saxons arrived. I think she will be surprised that I lived through this and frankly, I am a little surprised myself."

Bors waited a few minutes before saying anything. He wanted to broach the subject of Vanora but if Dag didn't say anything now then he knew he wouldn't either. Their friendship was too important to chance causing an awkwardness between them. "Hey, I think the horses are cool enough now. I need to take a piss and my stomach thinks my throat has been cut." He gave a gruff laugh and stopped his horse. As he dismounted, Dag was stopped but made no effort to get off his horse. Bors looked up at his friend. "What's wrong? Do you see or hear something?" Bors began to look around them. Seeing nothing, he looked back at Dag.

Dag gave his friend a sad half-smile, then he stepped down from his horse. Bors walked around a small stand of bushes to relieve himself and Dag took some jerky out of his saddlebags. He took a bite and waited for Bors to return. He had made a decision. No matter what the outcome, he had to tell Bors of his feelings for Vanora. In the years they had been friends he had never lied to his friend about anything else and it was time to tell the truth now so they could move forward and get past any problems this might cause.

Bors walked back up to his horse and took some of the same jerky out of his saddlebags. They dropped the reins and went over to the trees to sit down and lean back against a tree trunk. It took Bors a couple of minutes to get in a comfortable position. He kept holding his left shoulder where the Saxon had stabbed him. Dag moved over to where he was sitting. "Let me take a look at that." He told Bors. Bors grumbled a little but made no move to stop Dagonet. When Dag removed the bandage he saw that it was soaked with blood. The wound had only been cleaned a little and bandaged. It should have been treated with some of the salves they kept just for that purpose. Dag got up and walked over to his saddlebags and took out some supplies he always carried to tend wounds. He came back and put some salve on the wound and re-bandaged it. He could see Bors relax even as he put his shirt back in place. Then he sat down and took another piece of jerky to eat.

Bors took a drink of the wine he had put in his water bag and passed it to Dag. Dag accepted it and took a deep swig. When he passed it back he took a moment to observe his friend. Bors was about 5 years older than Dag and the extra years along with the harsh life was showing on his face. He had several scars, as did they all, but Dag could see that his friend was already into his twilight years. If they'd had to fight any longer he wasn't sure if his friend would be able to continue at the pace they had been. Dag cleared his throat and tried to find a way to bring up the subject of Vanora. He had thought the hard part would be over now that he had made up his mind, but he was wrong. He guessed he'd just have to come right out and say it.

"Bors, I need to tell you something. I thought that I had been keeping my feelings to myself but it seems everyone else knew. I wanted to be the one to tell you not somebody making jokes when they're drunk at the pub. As you can remember, when Vanora sent Lancelot packing, I spent a lot of time hanging around her. I thought I might have a chance to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. But then you came around and she fell into your arms instead. I didn't say anything because I thought it would be like all the other women you got involved with. I just waited so I could take over when you dropped her. Since that never happened I made a fool of myself waiting all this time because I was convinced that I loved her."

When Dag had stopped talking Bors waited a moment then told his friend, "Dag we all knew about yer feelings fer as long as I can remember." That was all he said. Dag got the impression that now that he had admitted the truth, it was all over and done with. But to be sure, he had to ask, "Did you hear what I said? Did you understand what I meant?" His voice had risen on the last question so he cleared his throat. When he looked back at Bors the man was looking at his hands.

"Dag, I know what you said and I know what you meant. Did you ever make a move on her since I been with her?" he asked. When Dag shook his head, Bors continued. "Then what's the problem? I've waited on things before that I didn't really want in the end. Besides, just because she's my woman doesn't mean I don't expect other men to want her as long as they don't get her." He took a breath and waited for Dag to relax. When he didn't, Bors went on to explain. "Look, Lancelot jokes all the time about one of my kids being his. It may be true but I'm not holdin' it against him until I see with my own eyes. We're all brothers here, we have to forgive and forget wrongdoin's as long as they don't keep it up."

Dag looked at Bors and realized he had been saying he couldn't be mad at him for loving his woman just like Dag had told Tristan he couldn't choose Vanora over Bors. He realized that he must not have loved Vanora at all, if he had he would not have cared whose woman she was. Love was such a difficult emotion. Why was it so important?


	18. Hopes and Prayers

Arthur stood atop the wall and surveyed the aftermath of the battle. The job of clearing away the dead from the fields surrounding Hadrian's Wall was an unpleasant one for any involved. Most of the dead were Saxon and their bodies were all thrown into a pile and set afire. The Woads took care of their own in whatever ritual they deemed necessary. The peasants that had stayed to help were preparing their dead for burial and although they were not "knights" in the sense that Arthur, Lancelot and the others were, Arthur had arranged for them to be buried on Badon Hill with the knights of history. They had fought bravely and deserved to be remembered with the others. No one had argued the point and the funerals would all be the next day.

Arthur was surprised at the small numbers of dead on both his side and the side of the Woads. The Saxons were a fierce group and not easily defeated, so the fact that they had been able to kill so few was remarkable. He and Merlin had devised a great plan and most of it had gone without a hitch, but even great plans require sacrifice. It worried Arthur that their sacrifice had been so small, yet he thanked God that he had not lost another of his beloved men. He was jerked out of his musings when he felt a hand on his forearm. He looked down and saw Guinnevere standing there looking up at him with compassion in her eyes. Her people were good fighters and they had lost a lot of their people over the past 15 years but she understood how it pained him to see so much carnage for no reason other than the desire to defeat and rule a people who only wanted to live free.

He turned his back on the sight before him. "Lady, are your wounds healing satisfactorily?" He had been worried when he had seen the amount of blood from her many small wounds. Merlin had been quick to reassure him that his daughter would be fine, but Arthur had seen men die from wounds that should have been no more than incidental. Improper care could cause the loss of limbs and even lives. Guinnevere smiled and Arthur was breathless at the sight. She was everything he remembered about his mother; beautiful, strong-willed, vocal about her beliefs and she had agreed to become his wife. It mattered little to him that it was probably at the urging of Merlin, all that mattered was that he would have the chance to know the kind of love his father had known. Britons were loyal to anyone who took up their cause as personal and Arthur had surely done that. He only hoped he could make her know his feelings were not political; he truly wanted her to know how he had come to see her as his soul mate. Now that he had time, he was sure all would be well with them.

Lancelot was headed toward Arthur when he saw Guinnevere walk up. He knew his friend had feelings for her and he was jealous. Unsure whether the jealousy was because she had taken his place as Arthur's confidante or because Arthur would be sharing her dreams as well as her bed uncertain in his mind. Lancelot was not usually a patient man, but he knew any hasty conclusions could cause a riff between the two friends that would possibly never be healed. Sighing, he turned around and went back the way he had come. He would wait and catch Arthur another time. Maybe he would have a better understanding of his feelings by then. The next few days would be difficult if not. Weddings were supposed to be a time for celebrating and right now he felt less like celebrating than he ever had in his life.

Arthur went in search of Jols when Guinnevere left to find her father. "Jols, find the others and have them meet me at the round table." Jols nodded his understanding and left to do as Arthur bade. Now that the war was over Arthur wanted to find out the plans of his men. Most would probably go to their beloved Sarmatia, but he hoped at least some would stay. The war might be over but there were still Saxons wandering around and sooner or later their natural instincts to conquer would surface and Arthur wanted to be prepared. Running his hand across the back of his neck to ease some of the tension, he headed toward the meeting hall.

When he arrived he found the others already sitting in their usual places. Either Jols had known where all of them were and didn't have to search for them or they had been searching each other out. If the latter were the case, then they were probably trying to decide when to leave for home. "Men, the war is over and we were victorious once more. But, there are still Saxons lurking around and sooner or later that will cause trouble. I have called you all here to ask about your plans." He paused and saw the others looking from one to another. When they had all had a chance to understand their facial expressions, Lancelot stood up.

"Arthur, your plans to marry Guinnevere will mean you will be responsible for defending her people as well as the people who stay at the wall. If you are asking for our help as I feel you are, why don't you just come out and ask?" When he had stopped talking, Arthur saw the others watching him closely. "Before I ask you to sacrifice any more of your plans for a land you do not like, I wanted to find out just what you did want. That is all. I have no secret mission to spring on you and I have always solicited your opinions whenever we spoke. Even though I knew you were drafted into the service of the Roman Empire, I never thought of you as other than free men who had a say in how and when you were to fight or die." He stopped talking and looked at each man for a moment. He saw that they were relieved at his words. "Did you think I would change because I changed my allegiance and decided to fight for the freedom of a people who were not Roman?"

Lancelot had taken his seat again and this time Gawain spoke up. "Arthur, power changes people. Not always in a good way. Since the battle ended the Woads have been treating you like some kind of ruler and we weren't sure where we fit into the scheme of things." Gallahad broke in, adding, "We weren't sure you still needed our help with the number of Woads ready to die by your side." Only Tristan kept silent throughout the exchange. He had always made his decisions silently and without a need for discussion or reassurance.

Arthur looked at Lancelot and saw a dangerous glint in his eyes. Not completely understanding his animosity toward him, Arthur gave a weary sigh. "No matter how many people choose to stand beside me or behind me, there will always be a place of honor for the men who have served with me throughout my career. I have come to think of you all as part of my family. As brothers even though we are not bonded by blood or country. I never thought it necessary to say it aloud. I thought you all knew." He placed the palms of both hands on the table to help him stand, but before he made a move Tristan finally spoke.

"Arthur, I can only speak for myself but I have no immediate need to travel to Sarmatia. I will stay and help you as you see fit. How long I cannot say, for when you have peace and no longer need me in battle I will probably get bored and move on. I have fought too long to find happiness for long in peace." When he had finished, he stood and looked around the table. "Now, I think I will ride out a ways to make sure the Saxons haven't regrouped and plan on surprising us." He bowed his head slightly toward Arthur and walked out of the room.

With Tristan leaving the room came an awkward moment. Gawain looked at Gallahad and they both looked at Lancelot. Finally when Lancelot had not said anything one way or the other, Gawain stood up and bowed his head at Arthur. "I, too, have no need to leave immediately. But unlike Tristan I yearn for peace and will help ensure peace for you and your people before I decide to move on." He looked for affirmation from Gallahad. When Gallahad stood and nodded his agreement they saw Arthur visibly relax. When they left the room there was a sense of inner peace they had not felt for 15 years. Even though they would not be returning to their homes, they were the ones who had decided they would not go. That made all the difference.

Arthur waited for Lancelot to say something else. He could feel the man holding something in and didn't understand why he refused to say it. That had not been one of his weaker traits before now. Lancelot was usually the first voice his opinion unless Bors just happened to speak first. After a moment, Lancelot looked at Arthur and gave a weak, sad smile. Standing, he finally spoke. "Arthur, in all the years we've fought together, you have hated the Woads to the point of being obsessive. What suddenly made you decide that their freedom was worth fighting, maybe even dying for?" The question was not unexpected. His hatred for the natives of Britain was legendary. Only Lancelot knew the truth about the origin of that hatred.

"The night we were camped coming from Marius' estate I had a meeting with Merlin." He heard the sharp intake of breath as his words registered but Lancelot did not interrupt him. "We had a 'discussion' about the role he played in the death of my mother. In the retelling some memories came back to me. I remembered after the attack how Merlin had come to me to comfort me. I refused and blamed him for her death. I vowed to rid the world of him and his barbarian tribe. I was wrong. My mother was a Woad." He looked at Lancelot as if the last sentence said all that needed to be said.

Lancelot watched his friend for a moment and then nodding his head he told him, "I will stay for as long as you need me. I no longer feel the longing for my homeland. My home is here by your side." He then bowed in a very Roman fashion and turned and left the room. Arthur plopped down hard on his chair. He was weary. Weary of battle, weary of killing, weary of death. But that could be changed with the help of his friends. They would turn this island into a land where all men and women would be equal. Where no one feared enslavement or persecution. For the first time since he'd heard of the death of Pelagius Arthur felt optimistic about what the future would hold.

To all my reviewers:

Thank you so much. When I wrote what has become the first chapter this was going to be a short piece. But the response was so encouraging that I had to try to continue it. This has probably been the hardest story I've ever done but your encouragement made me keep trying. I hope I don't disappoint anyone. Liz: Since you know where I live, come visit. That's the only way you'll ever get your MacGyver dvds back, I'm holding them hostage! Ha Ha. But then, you could say the same for season 6 of Stargate. Oh, well.


	19. Love, Finally!

Thanks for all the reviews. It make take a while before I can update… I've really hit a block now. Where do I go? Help me decide…

The two knights had taken up their fast pace and after only a few more hours found themselves catching the caravan. The Roman soldiers turned at the sound of the horses fast hoof beats ready in case of an attack. When they saw who the men were, they raised their hands in salute. "Anyone wishing to return to the fort is welcome," yelled Bors. "We defeated the scum." The soldiers gave a cry of celebration and waved the two men through the caravan.

When Fulcinia heard the commotion she quickly turned to look back the way they had come. She wasn't sure what she expected to see but when she recognized the form of Dagonet riding as fast as he could beside the caravan she yelled for the driver to stop. She quickly grabbed her shawl and climbed down onto the ground. Alecto had also seen the two men and made to help his mother, but before he could so much as offer her his hand, she was gone. Lucan was riding in the wagon with Vanora and the kids and hadn't seen Dag yet. But Alecto decided to wait a few moments before going to stop the rest of the wagons.

Fulcinia started running to the side of the roadway to wait for him to ride up. When he saw her standing there patiently waiting he grinned. She was such a beautiful sight to behold. His heart leapt at the thought of taking her in his arms. They had never embraced intimately and he was not going to wait any longer. He pulled his horse up next to her and watched Bors ride past looking for his loves.

Dag dismounted and took a step toward the woman he loved. Before he could take another step she was in his arms. He held her tightly for a moment, then, loosening his hold just a bit he held her away so he could look into her eyes. He saw tears in her eyes and knew they were tears of joy. Leaning closer to her face he said, "I love you Lady." And kissed her gently. When her kiss became more passionate he did not protest. It didn't matter to him who might be watching, he just wanted to kiss her forever.

Alecto watched his mother for a moment, cleaning his throat, he went in search of Lucan. The boy would be as happy to see the knight as Fulcinia was. He hoped they had their emotions under control by the time he returned with the boy. He was only halfway to Vanora's wagon when he met the boy running at full speed. He grabbed him and taking his hand tried to keep him at a slower pace. When Lucan protested he let him go and he took off again. By the time he had walked back to where he had left the others he saw Dag hugging the boy and twirling him around. They were such a happy group, he had no qualms about leaving his mother and going to Rome alone.

When all the reunions had been completed they decided to stay where they were for the night. Dag and Bors told everyone about the battle and Vanora was chiding Bors about the new injuries. Fulcinia looked to Dag and inquired about his injuries. He assured her they were minor and would heal completely in no time. She smiled and accepted his story knowing that he would never admit it if they were worse. Also knowing, they couldn't be too terribly bad or he could not have ridden as the speed he did to catch up to the caravan.

Bors was telling them about the proposed wedding in two days and everyone was so excited they wanted to return to the fort to attend the function. Bishop Germanius would not hear of it and Alecto almost gave in to the Bishop's arguments. But finally he put his foot down and Germanius reluctantly agreed making it seem his idea. Bors made a noise that sounded rude and Dag just looked at the man with disgust on his face. If Alecto didn't need to talk to the Pope he would never travel to Rome with him. He would never travel to Rome at all. He had grown fond of the people he had met and hated to leave their company. As soon as he finished his business he decided he would return here to make his life.

Bors and Vanora quickly got the children bedded down and was spending some time together just talking and occasionally giving each other a passionate kiss. Dagonet looked around the camp and enjoyed the peace that had settled in his heart. Fulcinia was sitting at his side and he heard her sigh with contentment more than once. He thought about what it would be like to lead her back to the wagon and take her to bed. He knew he wouldn't. But it felt good to think about it. He would wait until she was ready to marry. He respected the Christianity she held so close even though he didn't understand it. To make a move on her with being married would disrespect what she was in her heart. He would never harm her not even if he saw no harm himself.

Slowly everyone went to their pallet or wagon to get some rest. The caravan would be leaving before daylight heading back to Hadrian's Wall for the wedding of Arthur and Guinnevere. Dagonet had heard some of the Woads talking of 'King' Arthur. It seemed more than he could comprehend but he knew that Arthur would make a good king. He would keep the needs of all the people in mind before he made any decisions. Guinnevere would make a good queen too, even if he didn't have time to know a lot about her, she knew what she wanted and didn't mind standing up for it. Her people would not suffer under the rule of their new king and queen, if that was indeed what they were to become.

Lucan had fallen asleep with his head in Dag's lap and Alecto took him when he retired for the night. Dag brushed his hair away from his face and gently kissed his cheek. The boy had seen so much to be so young he wanted to make sure he understood he was loved. When Alecto left the fire where they had all been sitting Lucan never stirred. Hopefully he would get a good night's sleep.

When he and Fulcinia finally stood up to get some rest everyone else was already gone. Fulcinia stood up first and turned to face him. She smiled and moved closer to him. Without thinking he pulled her onto his lap. She didn't resist but wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled his neck with her face. Despite his vow to do nothing to disrespect her he found himself wrapping his arms around her slight form. She reached up and kissed him gently on his jaw line and he moaned at the feel of her touch. He grabbed her by the arms and pushed her away so he could look into her eyes. "Lady, please take care. I am only a man and I don't yet understand your God."

Her eyes clouded with suppressed desire. Then she leaned closer and lightly brushed her lips against his. "Are you sure?" was all he asked. She again brushed his lips. Taking her into his arms he carried her over to where he had laid his bedroll. He set her down and picked up the roll to take further from the rest of the sleeping people. When he had unrolled the pallet he turned to her. He wanted to give her time to be sure she didn't want to change her mind. She just glided into his arms and he kissed her with all the passion he had held in check. Little by little he pulled her dress off her shoulders. Her creamy skin shone in the moonlight and he lowered his mouth to feather kisses from neck to shoulder. As he was kissing her she was gently running her hands across his shoulders being careful of any wounds he had.

He gently lowered her to the pallet and lay beside her. She was lying on her back and he was on his side with his arms around her. She suddenly seemed shy and he once more asked if she'd changed her mind. "No, I just don't want you to think less of me for not waiting. My religion calls this a sin, but the sin, I think, would be wasting any more of our precious time together." She smiled and he lowered his face and claimed her lips. After several moments he began to explore the contours of her body through her gown. He tried to figure out how her gown came off and after several moments of frustration she opened the ties herself. When she had finished he pushed the gown away from her shoulders uncovering all the way to her waist.

Her beauty took his breath. He put his hand on the exposed flesh of her stomach and moved it to her hip pulling her closer to him. She lay there with her eyes closed with her bottom lip firmly between her teeth. He moved his hand up her stomach and gently massaged first one breast and then the other. She gave a guttural moan and arched her body toward his. Any other time that would have been all he needed as encouragement. This time he wanted to savor each moment as he learned everything about her passion. As she moaned he held his hand still until she had her passion under control again. Then he leaned over and kissed her gently.

"You are so beautiful I could lie here and look at you forever." He whispered. She reached up and placed her palm on his face. "I don't think I could stand it if you did nothing but look at me." She surprised herself at the boldness of her words, but they didn't seem out of place with this man. She could see the love in his eyes and feel it in the way he touched her. She had no doubts about his intentions. This would never be something she would feel shame about in the future. This night she would remember for her entire life.

They continued their explorations of each other until in agreement they consummated their love. When they were spent he held her in his arms brushing her hair from her face with his fingers. With a final kiss she lay her head on his shoulder and immediately fell into a blissful sleep. Dagonet lay awake a few moments after she had fallen asleep listening to her steady breathing. He had known he loved her but he didn't expect the depth of that love. As they had finished their lovemaking he knew that she was the one reason he had fought so hard to live through the battle the day before.


	20. The Fortress

Well, this is the last chapter of my Dagonet story. I'm kind of sad that it's over, but I felt that carrying it any further would just be mindless dribble. Hope you all enjoy it and will let me know by reviewing. I will eventually do a story for each of the knights, maybe even Arthur and Guinnevere, but I will NOT be doing the Arthur/Guinnevere/Lancelot triangle. That story has been done in every conceivable way possible, so what is the use.

Oh, I still don't own the story of the knights, that belongs to history and the many writers that are much better than I could ever be. But it is still fun to dabble in their stories…

The small caravan headed back toward Hadrian's Wall with Dagonet and Bors leading the way. They chatted happily and Bors took up his old plan of becoming Governor of the area with Dag as his right hand man. Dag listened but did not commit to any plan at all. It all depended on what he and Fulcinia decided to do. He didn't think she would care where they lived and he really didn't except for Rome. He didn't want to go anywhere near Rome.

"Dag, are you list'ning to me?" Bors sounded exasperated. "Yeah, well some of the time, what did you say?" was all Dag could answer. He had been so lost in his thoughts of Fulcinia that he forgot Bors was even there. Bors looked at his friend and Dag looked back at him. At first he was annoyed then he flashed a big toothy grin, "So, is she worth it?" Dag grinned back at him and began nodding his head, "Yeah, I never thought I could feel quite like this." He sounded so amazed that Bors had to laugh out loud. "It's amazin' what a good woman will do for you, huh?"

Dag looked at the other man and realized just how much he had changed since he met Vanora. Love did strange things to people. He hoped the changes in him would be just as good as they were in Bors. "Hey Bors, do you think there is really hope that we will be able to make a life here? I mean, if the women are willing?"

"Yeah, why can't we? Arthur is being crowned king of all Britain and we're to be his Knights, just like we've always been. We can have anything we want." Bors boasted so loudly that one of the Roman guards came riding up to see what was going on. When Bors repeated what he had just said, the guard just laughed. "Do you really think Rome won't return as soon as they find out the Saxons have been defeated for the time being? Hell, they'll be back as soon as the Bishop delivers the news. Your service to Rome may be over, but you'll still have to fight." This news gave Bors and Dag something to think about. The guard was probably right. Their bright future suddenly had some black clouds on the horizon.

The next few miles were passed in silence. Neither man wanted to bring up the subject of their future now. Suddenly the thought of going back to Sarmatia wasn't too far out of their thoughts. They were still lost in the thought that Rome might come back to reclaim the land south of the Wall when the Wall came into sight. Dag saw the flags signaling their return and he looked back to see Fulcinia smiling at him. He wanted to go to her, but knew he needed to be in the front as they entered through the gate.

They rode through the gate to the cheers of all inside the walls. Dag looked at Bors and saw that he was reveling in the attention. He smiled and shook his head. He probably would become governor some day. But it would not be soon for they had all pledged to stay and help Arthur realize his dream of peace between all the peoples of Britain. When they rode into the private courtyard reserved for the knights and Arthur, they found them all standing and waiting. Arthur raised his hand in salute and Dag nodded his head in acknowledgement. He dismounted and immediately headed for the wagon where Fulcinia and Alecto were riding with Lucan. He helped her down, holding her for a moment longer than it took to let her down. Alecto jumped down and held his arms for Lucan.

The boy jumped down and headed toward the other knights and Arthur. Arthur put his hand on the boys shoulder and welcomed him back to the fort. "Are you glad to be back here, Lucan?" Lucan looked around for a minute, then he turned to him, "It feels good to be home. As long as Dag is with me." Arthur nodded his agreement, "Aye, we all agree with that." Dag and Fulcinia had walked over as Arthur spoke. He smiled at the couple and extended his hand to Fulcinia, "Lady, I'm glad you could return under such good circumstances. You are more than welcome to stay." Then he turned to her son, "Alecto, I'm glad you took the time to return. Are you still planning to return to Rome?" Alecto nodded his greeting, "Arthur. Yes, I sent word ahead with the Bishop, even if he wasn't happy about my return. I told him I would leave shortly after the wedding," he looked at Dag and his mother, "or weddings." His words caused Arthur to look at his friend. The smile on Dag's face made him smile as well.

"Well, it seems love has grown all over this island." They all shared a laugh and headed toward the fortress. As they walked, Dag told Arthur what the Roman soldier had told them on the way back. Arthur listened intently, then he told him, "Call a meeting of the Round Table. I think this is something we need to discuss and decide how we're going to deal with it." Dag nodded and headed back to the courtyard. When he got there, he found that Galahad and Gawain were the only ones still standing around. He told them and went to find Bors and Tristan. He found Bors at the tavern and Tristan was out on the practice yard practicing with his bow. 'Peace will not cause him to be slack in his training.' Thought Dag. Then he headed back toward the fortress hall.

Arthur looked around the table and stood. "I see no reason to call this meeting to order differently than any of the others. Let's not forget that we are the fortunate ones and thus keep the memories of our fallen comrades in our minds and hearts for all eternity." He poured a little wine on the floor and watched as the others followed suit. Bors held his cup higher and yelled, "To Freedom!" Arthur was proud to call all of them friends. He looked at Guinnevere and saw the pride in her eyes as well. These men had fought well on the side of her beloved freedom. She saw Arthur looking at her and smiled. He returned her smile and turned to the men he had grown up with.

He then told them what Dag had told him. "Men, we have fought hard for our freedom. We have driven the Saxons away and men and women have given their blood to make this land free for all. Are we going to allow the Romans to come back and take what we fought for when they would not?"

Galahad was the first to speak, "It is as I stated to the bishop. If we allow this, we will have risked our lives for fifteen years for nothing. I, for one, do not wish to think I wasted that many years. I say we fight and keep this land free that anyone and everyone who wishes to live in peace may do so." Arthur watched the faces of the men he had come to know well. They agreed with Galahad, every one of them, even Lancelot was not against it. He waited for a few minutes before breaking the silence after Galahad's statement.

"Well, then I think that we should decide how we want to proceed." They discussed many options and all listened intently when Guinnevere spoke. "My people will not allow Rome to reclaim this land. As my father has told Arthur, he will be king and rule this land in his wisdom and sense of what is fair for all." The knights turned to Arthur and saw the love he felt for his bride-to-be. "Ah, that is another topic I wish to discuss now that we have all agreed that we will fight for the freedom of all on this island nation." He hesitated, giving the others time to change their thoughts from ones of battle to ones of celebration. "The ceremony will be native of the Woad people with Merlin conducting the ceremony. I will be honored if all of you stand with me as I pledge my love and life to Guinnevere. This is not any tradition that I know of, but you have all been by my side throughout every choice and deed I've done."

He looked around the table. Lancelot stood and the other knights followed suit. They raised their cups and Lancelot spoke for them all, "We will be proud to stand with our friend, our commander, and our king!" Arthur smiled broadly as he raised his cup to his men. "To the famed Knights of the Round Table. May you find your happiness as I've found mine, for above any others, you deserve it." They drank and sat back down. The mood had lifted since the news of the Romans and each man sat back drinking and lost in their own thoughts. After a moment Guinnevere stood and spoke to the group, "My father asks you all to join my tribe in a pre-wedding celebration this evening. We can be there in a few hours." She waited nervously, thinking these men would not wish to celebrate with her people. They had, after all, tried to kill most of them at one time or another. She was surprised when Bors spoke up, "A celebration is just what we need. After all, Arthur ain't the only one to find love on this island, right Dag?"

Dag laughed openly, something he hadn't done in quite a while. Arthur stood and told them, "Let's prepare for the journey. I don't want my future father-in-law to think I have cold feet!" They all laughed and headed for the door. Dag was the last to step out of the room and as he did, he turned and looked back. He sighed as he remembered the times he and the others had sat at that table wondering what their commander would lead them into next. He remembered the ones who had not made it and silently hoped they had finally found the peace he had. Only theirs would be with their ancestors, the people they had not known for a long time before they died. For some reason he felt sad that a time in his life had come to an end.

His thoughts carried on in this manner as he made his way to his room, where Fulcinia would be waiting. The sadness lifted as he thought of the future he could have with her at his side. A famed Knight for King Arthur and his beautiful lady… it was almost more than he could comprehend. It seemed that after all, the gods would not let him sleep in the cold earth as he had once thought. He would now sleep wrapped in the arms of the woman who could make his life the dream he had secretly hoarded all these years. As he walked through the door into the arms of his love, he began to hum the tune to Vanora's song. He had indeed gone home.

The End.


End file.
